Chapter :- 20

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Silnae's POV

I felt like my breath got stuck in my throat and made me gag.

The plane that my brother, the closest person to me, was traveling in was lying in shambles on the ground. And it had 1% probability of having survivors.

I couldn't feel anything. My eyes became cloudy and my ears were ringing. Around me I heard muffles noises and through my blurry vision, I looked at my mother who started crying her eyes out and my cousin sister was hugging her. My legs felt like jelly.

I forced myself to move. I wasn't crying. I wasn't sobbing. I wasn't frowning. My face was poker. I somehow lifted my foot which suddenly felt really heavy and moved as steadily as I could towards the stairs. I heard someone calling my name, probably Jimin, but I didn't turn back.

Once I reached the stairs, gingerly running my hand on the as I went up, one quarter of a step at a time, until I reached the top within what felt like a decade and tiptoed clumsily into Taehyung's room.

Not even having the strength to grip the handle and close it slowly like a human being, I just pushed the door from its side and it closed with a loud slam. Not glancing at anything else than his bed, which appeared like a puddle due to my eyesight, I walked to it and sat down, my hands giving me support.

Then I broke down.

Tears ran down from my eyes down my cheeks like raindrops falling from the sky. I started sobbing and crying, hitting his pillow and then bringing it up to my face, screaming into it. I covered my face with my hands as I cried out, pulling my hair until my head hurt so bad that I had to stop crying or else my head would burst.

"Why...." I sobbed quietly, hugging the pillow and letting my hot tears wet it as I rubbed my head.

"Why did it have to be you..." I sniffled, glancing up to his walls where he had stuck hundreds of pictures of me and him, smiling in sadness as I saw his rectangular smile, his wide baby eyes and his chubby face.

Which I would never see again....

I started sobbing, tears falling again, this time on to a framed photo that I took from his nightstand. It was of me, Taehyung, and my parents. I placed my forehead on that picture as I sobbed. "You promised you would come back to me....."

Suddenly, my blinding sadness got replaced with anger. I lifted my head as I glared at something invisible, something that wasn't even there. I don't even know what I was being angry at. I threw the photo on his bed and pulled at my hair again.

"This is not fair!!!!" I shouted. "You were supposed to come back, not crash into a forest and make me cry like this!!" I thought I was going crazy.

I stopped yelling. I couldn't do this. No matter how hard I tried, I could never be angry at my brother for something like this. I got off his bed abruptly and stomped in long strides to his mirror. I just couldn't look at myself.

I reminded me of him.

I gripped the sides of his table as my tears fell again, but this time I wasn't crying. I looked around the table until I laid my eyes on it:- His car keys.

I didn't care that I wasn't not allowed to drive at fourteen.

I didn't care that it was my brother's car which he told me never to touch without him.

I didn't care that they were people downstairs who would get more stressed if I suddenly took off in a car.

I didn't care that I was emotionally unbalanced and it wouldn't be safe if I drove.

I just had to get outta there.

Clutching the keys, I walked to the door, looked around the room and went out, shutting the door.

I ran down the stairs. I saw my mother with a bunch of used tissues surrounding her, and Minshee, Naehee and Hungshi were around her, trying to calm her down. I saw Bangtan huddles around Jimin. Or should I say Bangtan huddled together, because they invited Jimin to their little friends group after he joined the mafia.

I walked as quickly as I could to the front door, but of course they saw me. "Sil?" Namjoon oppa asked but I didn't reply, didn't turn back, didn't stop, nothing. I just opened the front door and walked outside.

It was dark and the white moon gave a light milky colour to the black sky. I ran to the big black Rolls Royce of my brother, hearing my name being called over and over again from inside the house. Just as they ran out, I got into the car, slammed the door shut and put the key in the ignition.

"Silnae stop!!" They shouted.

I turned the key, starting the car. "I'm sorry guys." I muttered under my breath and took off, roaring off to the street. 
        
                *           *           *           *

"You must be so happy to finally break the rules for once huh?" I said bitterly. "The rule that you have to keep your promises. And you gave me one."

I stomped my foot on the accelerator, going even more faster than I was earlier. I would crash if I go on this inhumane speed, but right now my mind was occupied with making sure my brother knew that I hated him.

"Just great, huh?" I started yelling, no caring how loud I was. There was no one the road anyway. "You just think you can bloody get away with this, huh?" I pressed the accelerator more.

"You, you.... Little mutt." I screamed, as I hit my head lightly on the steering wheel.

But I didn't look up fast enough. I didn't push the brakes fast enough. I looked up to find the car wheeling on the path to the little hill-like cliff on the road. If I kept going, I would go over and roll down the cliff and most probably die.

                       (FLASHBACK)

"I think I'm getting the hang of it!" I squealed, and Taehyung laughed.

"Yeah, I think you are." He said, ruffling my hair. "But remember, you're not old enough to drive. And even you are, don't touch this car without my permission."

"Yadda yadda." I said. He rolled his eyes.

"And remember, what do you do when you about to crash?"

"I take my foot off the accelerator first, then press the brakes." I said, repeating what he told me about ten times. "Make the car stop as fast as you can."

But I didn't stop the car fast enough. I was stuck, torn between not doing what to do. And maybe,

Maybe there was a little part of me that wanted to crash.

But I got to my senses, took my foot off the accelerator and pressed the brakes as hard as I could.

But....

I should have turned the damn steering wheel.

I stared in horror as the car sped to the edge of the cliff, tipping over.

"Shit."

It started rolling, rolling over and over down the slope. Each roll giving me an injury.

By the time I reached down, I couldn't keep my eyes open, and my head felt funny.

"I'm sorry." Was the last thing I heard, from my own mouth, before everything became black.
                         ---------------------------------------

A/N
Annyeonghaseyo!!! Soo, next chapter will be the last for this book. A little surprise's on its way😉
Thanks for reading. Saranghae 💜💜💜
-MS

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