the light

do it

'do it, do it, do it...'

the silent but all too loud voice bounced around in my head, fading in and out, up and around, a pounding headache that just never really goes away.

with tired limbs and a heavy heart, i obeyed, giving in to the persistent voice moving in my head - a constant reminder that i can never be alone, not really.

with a sharp knife and trembling fingers, blood began gushing from her neck as her small protests became garbled choking - sending shivers of anxiety up my spin. a fire racing through my veins.

my knees became weak and gave out as her voice did the same, blood beginning to seep into my pores creating a scarlet red stain - the kind of stain that never washes out.

angry hot tears began, bloody red fingers pulling at my hair roughly, begging for the voices to stop. stop controlling my every move and thought. stop placing unreasonable pressures on me and my mind.

once my sobs turned pitiful and violent hiccups moved from my throat, an overwhelming sadness pulled through my body at the thought of another innocent girl being taken from her friends and family. another innocent life being sacrificed to my miserable mind.

and then everything was peaceful, a lulling numbness seeping into the still air. my fingers moved from my hair and crept slowly towards the soaked knife laying sprawled on the stained wood.

with a buzzing in my mind and a set determination in my heart i grasped the knife and plunged it deep into my heart as the world faded into silence around me and everything turned a soothing black.