Dear diary: How do I heal his broken heart?; Choi Soobin

t w e n t y o n e

After I came home from school, I spent half an hour trying to get that sitcky green stuff off my hair, I had to apply shampoo at least three times.

I'm laying on the couch scrolling down on my phone, with Kiyooung laying between my legs and keeping me warm with her soft furr. It's cold outside, it's raining really hard and even the power outage seems to be unstable. I'm actually afraid that it could be gone in any minute, considering that I'm all alone in this big house.

I move my hand to pet Kiyooung's head that's resting on my hip, a slight smile forms on my lips at her cuteness. She's the best thing that could've happened to me.

A loud thunder echoes, startling me and making Kiyooung bark. Geez, this is such a huge storm.

"It's okay Kiki, it was just a thunder." I coo, caressing her furr. She licks my hand, and a sad smile appears this time on my lips. Kiki was the nickname Soobin picked for her.

I shake my head, trying to think about something else. I grab my phone again and try to distract myself, but turns out the signal is gone. I throw it on the table next to me and groan, covering my eyes with my arm and sighing when I hear a knock on the door, making me frown.

"Who is it? I'm not opening the door. It's dangerous." I mutter to myself, laying again on my back.

However, the person keeps knocking on the door, louder and louder, so I decide to stand up and walk to see who it is. Annoyed, I let out a frustrated sigh and open the door standing behind it trying not to get wet.

My eyes widen and my heart is about to jump out of my throat. The rain is wild, and I can see lightings everywhere, the wind is actually freezing... But still, he's in front of me. Completely drenched, I can easily see the drops of water scrolling down his face and hair.

"y/n" He whispers, his voice cracking.

I can't breathe.

"Soobin, what are you doing?" I manage to ask, my chest is clenching and I'm finding it hard to breathe at the sight. "You'll get sick, idiot!" I exclaim, extending my arm to grab his hand and drag him inside, but he steps back.

"I don't care. I came here to tell you everything, If you want me out of your life after this, I'll disappear, but you'll have to listen to what I have to say."

His eyes are red and puffy. His nose is pink and he's panting, his lips are quivering and I don't even know if it's because of the crying or the cold. My heart aches, and a knot forms on my throat.

Here we go again...

"Soobin, I can't... I"

"Listen to me, would you?" He interrupts me with pleading eyes. I sigh, nodding.

"But please, come inside."

He shakes his head.

"No. I don't care if I get sick, I don't care about the cold. I feel even worse on the inside anyways."

I knit my brows together, tilting my head in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"y/n, I can't pretend anymore." He admits. He looks so devastated, so vulnerable, so broken.

"Pretend?" I whisper.

"I can't pretend that I don't care, y/n. Not anymore, I've tried to hold back but I'm sick of it."

What?

"Soobin, if you want me to listen to you, get inside." I demand, already feeling nauseos and with my hands shaking.