Chapter IV - Introduce Us, Winterbourne

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I lie down and rest my cheek on the cool kitchen tile. It would probably give Mrs. McEwan a fright to find me like this.

I gaze longingly out the french doors that lead to our backyard. Mom forbids me from going, but everything looks so bright out there. So green. So happy.

I untie my hair and take off my glasses. It's not much, but it gives me an illusion of freedom.

My eyes stray outside again and suddenly, it doesn't feel like it's enough. Not even close. The craving to be free gets too much. On an impulse, I get up, unlock the back door, and walk straight out into our backyard. I walk past the oak trees that mark the end of our property line, across the rolling field and stop at the edge of the woods where the grass is taller and wildflowers grow.

I flop down as exhaustion takes over and spread my fingers through the grass, seeking the soft soil. The familiar, subtle vibrations of mother earth travel to my fingertips. It moves up to my arms and soothing feelings spread through me. It feels like warm welcoming arms reaching out and I touch it, embrace it. It feels so familiar and so good I almost cry. Several pairs of eyes peek at me from the bushes, from between the tree branches, and underneath the flowers. The creatures here feel different...benevolent.

When I lift my hands up from the ground a few minutes later, I feel the shift in the energy flowing just beneath my skin, zapping at my fingertips. So I let it out, enjoying for the first time in a very long time, the feeling of letting it go free.

A wispy trail of white light forms and snakes out from each of my fingertip. I bring my hands together and soon the lights fused and roll around in between my palms. They form a little ball of sheer, soft, white light. It gets bigger as I slowly let more energy into it. When it reaches the size of a beach ball, I will it away. It shimmers in the sun.

I look around me and see a family of white-tailed deer and a jackrabbit slowly approaching from the forest edge. A red fox shily comes out of its hiding place in the foliage. The creatures that were hiding and peeking out from under the bushes and tree branches earlier are also moving slowly closer as if in a trance. The white ball or energy is now floating in the air. It's flickering and glowing, but also soft, almost gossamer-like... and beautiful. The deadly ball of energy looks deceivingly harmless.

I learned from experience that if any earthly creatures like the jackrabbit touched it, the cute rabbit would burst into nothing but icky sprays of blood, gut, bones, and chunks of fur. If it's any of the other creatures, their lights would dim before they crumble into black ashes, then blown away by the wind into nothingness.

One of the deer is now standing within my arm's reach, its nose is just a few inches away from it. "Not too close, my love," I whisper as I reach out and touch the pretty globe of light. It stings my fingertip. Just a tiny little prickle. It doesn't hurt, but it's not very pleasant. As soon as my finger touches it, it sizzles and fades away. The trance is broken and now all creatures, big and small scurry off in fright. I giggle softly to myself.

I haven't done this in years; coming here and letting my energy out. Guilt from disobeying my mom lays heavily on my shoulders. I look around me in regret and take a deep breath. I should go but I'm reluctant to leave.

Finally, I turn around. As I slowly make my way back, I can't resist a glance at the shimmering lake. There it is- the weeping willow tree. Underneath it was where I stood in my dreams. I go to stand underneath it, trying to remember. I remember the piercing blue eyes and not much more. My thoughts return to the new boy in my school- Ruen. There's something about him. I push the thought of him out of my mind, or at least I try to. I try to hum the song, the words don't come to me. It's there, trapped in my head.

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