― 19. healing

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two weeks later

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two weeks later



                         KAITLYN'S NOT allowed out of John's sight, she's (basically) come to learn. He's turned clingy, constantly needing a hand on her, and follows her around like a lovesick little puppy who's afraid she's going to disappear again. At first she didn't mind, she liked it; she knew it was going to be a hard transition for both of them coming back to the lives they (used to) know. However, it's weird for her to see how easy it is for John to flip a switch and be perfectly fine, and only worry about her well being. But what gets her even more is how un-phased and happy(?) he seems to be, being back in his old life. John can't be to blame for it though, it will always be a part of him she may not be able to understand.

   If you'd told her two weeks ago when she first got home she'd recover fairly quickly, she'd think you were kidding. She's okay. As okay as someone can get. No more nightmares or scary thoughts, for the most part...

   She hates how she still has a hard time going into rooms alone still, how she still hesitates and needs to see John. But it doesn't mean she doesn't want time to herself or independence. Going into the city to start rehearsal again? John takes her. Going to see Sara? John goes as well.

   Kaitlyn does love having John with her all the time and getting to be close to him. Except the last few days he's been getting on her last nerve, probably for the first time ever. Kaitlyn feels smothered and wants room to breathe as she's trying to move on from being kidnapped (best a person can do that). As helpful as John is, as understanding as he is— he's too damn protective; always has been but now more so. Understandably.

   And maybe it's because Kaitlyn thinks now that John got a taste of his old life, he'll want back in. Maybe all her feelings of frustration are really about that, because she's too afraid to ask. She doesn't want to hear an answer she won't like. She can't handle anymore nights worrying about him getting killed, she needs their domestic life together. Even though John told her Winston said his retirement will be respected, she's still scared. There's so many what if's and not everyone keeps their world. John may even want to go back.

   And if John does want to go back she has no idea what she'd do.








   Kaitlyn and Sara decided earlier that they need time together, without John, without Eric. Kaitlyn doesn't want her friend to have to drive out to come get her so she decides she'll just drive into the city; because, they're going to go out out. It may be too soon for her especially because of what happened at the Red Circle but she's just going to push through it.. and she knows it'll piss John off, and in a weird sense she thinks it'll give her the space she thinks she needs. Time to think. Make him suffer because she's scared- even if it makes no sense.

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