Hidden Wounds

PART 13

"14.8 inches, and about 2.2 pounds. Baby is healthy and growing at its projected rate. Good job mom." My OB said as she finished rubbing the gel off of me. I was at my twenty-eight weeks check up and this time I was alone. Anthony had a meeting that ran over and I was somewhat grateful. I wasn't interested in sharing this experience with him anymore, I wanted out. I had been saying it this whole time, telling myself I would leave but some invisible force seemed to keep me anchored. After Anthony shared that piece of his past I was on edge; he really had it in his mind that him beating my ass was justifiable if I was "misbehaving'. How was I supposed to be with a man who would rather harm me than protect me? What about my child? Who's to say Anthony wouldn't beat its ass for crying too loud? I was sick of being anxious, sick of walking around on eggshells, I was a stranger in my own life, fuck the home. I used to be a wild young girl, ready to have fun and live life. Here I was 20 years old and I felt sixty. 20 years old and pregnant, my body had more scars than a wounded warrior and my spirit was at its lowest. How my child was growing and healthy was a mystery to me because I couldn't remember the last time I ate a home cooked meal. Every since Marisol had left, the house had gone to shit. I was too damn round to try to do any housework and Anthony had the other maids so scared after the way he treated Marisol; they barely even wanted to dust the plants! After he got that deal, he was at the office pulling sixteen hour shifts, sometimes he would stay the night only coming to the house to get a change of clothes. He was so caught up in work when I asked him to take me shopping for the baby he told me to order offline. Most of my days were spent submitting payments to BuyBuyBaby, Baby GAP, Fendi, and other stores, filling up the house with so many things the baby probably wouldn't use half. While Anthony was so busy working, I was swindling. I had went to the bank and started doing withdrawals, even having them print me my own debit card so I wouldn't have to present my ID every time. My 20 racks was actually coming in on 25, and because he was depositing so much cash, my chump change went unnoticed.I had also made myself a new friend, he had dug into Anthony's past and told me things that I never knew. Anthony Sr. had a long violent history and Mrs Smith was always on the end of it. They had Anthony when they were kids, his mom was only fifteen. Anthony's dad was six years older than her, and he was a man with money and lived lavish; their story was starting to sound real familiar. After she had her son, she started showing up to the ER more frequently; broken jaw, fractured ribs, shattered knee, broken nose, smashed fingers, cracked elbow and her last visit put her in critical condition. The pictures were gruesome, but they proved what Officer Gray was telling me. Me and him had been texting and seeing each other on the low, and I mean the mutha fucking low; like we meet behind restaurant dumpsters low. I don't know what drew me to him or why I expected this man to help me when he didn't know me from Eve, but knowing that Anthony had a mean streak in his DNA put some fire to my ass, my apartment was set and ready to move in; the keys were waiting for me at the front office; as much shit as I bought to fill up Anthony's house, I had sent to my storage unit and was going to decorate my  second room with it. I was playing the role Anthony wanted me to and just like he said, things got a little easier. He wasn't breathing down my neck so much, he still wanted to know my every  step but I was able to wiggle around when he got stuck at the office. After seeing his mom, I couldn't stomach living life like that and I wasn't going to. Gray and I were supposed to meet up after this visit, my 'man' was in a conference meeting until six so I had a few hours to burn.

"So you still don't want to know the sex?" she asked smiling

"Nope, I want to be surprised." I answered, even though I wanted a little girl so I could raise her and protect her from the wrong men, starting with her fucking daddy. 

"I could never be that patient." the doctor laughed and helped me sit up, I wobbled off the table and fixed my shirt. Even though I was seven months pregnant the weight I gained had went to the right places. I fixed myself up in the mirror making sure my lips were moisturized and my hair was in place.