The Player's Best Friend (Completed!)

Chapter 25

-Vivian-

All of the options that were offered didn't please me. I heard the same thing for the past few hours. Doctors and nurses offering their condolences, pitiful glances from other patients, and promises that things would get better. It was all a load of bullshit.

I could either wait for natural labor to take place, which doctors said should start within one to two weeks time, or I could just get an induced labor. Knowing that my baby wasn't alive, carrying it was difficult. Carrying my child like it was alive only to be in labor and realize that I would never get to watch my child grow. Never to hear the heartbeat, or sweet cries of life. It wasn't an easy choice. My options ultimately sucked.

Dr. Miller said there was no rush to the pregnancy but, the choice was up to Steven and I. Steven hadn't even said a word since we found out. He would just sit there and stare blankly into space. I knew it hurt him just as much as me. He seemed so empty.

"Can we have a moment alone, please?"

D. Miller and the other two nurses nodded solemnly and left with a gentle close of the door. I clenched my hands in my hospital gown. My knuckles appeared white and my nails were digging into my palms.

"Steven?"

He looked up at me slowly with the most hopeless expression. Steven was supposed to be a happy man. The kind of man whose smile was infectious, but seeing him like this broke my heart into little pieces.

"I don't know what to do." I whispered. "What are we suppose to do?"

He shook his head and I stared at him to desperately give me an answer. I needed someone to tell me what was right and how I should be handling this situation. I couldn't make a choice, not when my baby has no chance.

"Steven, why aren't you saying anything? Please, just please say something." I whimpered.

"What do you want me to say, Vivian? I don't know what to say and I don't want to say the wrong thing." he said.

"That's all you have to say?" I looked at him vacantly. "Is that really all you have to say?" I repeated.

"What am I suppose to say or do that would make things better? There's nothing that I could do that will change things." he bellowed. He raked his hands through his dark locks and bowed his head down. "There's nothing I can do."

I got up and embraced him like he was my life line. But by the way he gripped my waist, it was like we were each other's only way of survival.

As we stood in the hospital room, the only thing that was heard was the cries of soon-to-be parents that were never going to be.

In the end, we had to make a choice. There was no point in prolonging the process. I had opted for inuced labor, much to Steven's disapproval. He thought it only right that our baby have a normal process into the world. But I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't carry a dead baby. It hurt too much.

We argued over the night but, Steven knew that it was my body and he only agreed because he didn't want me to grief more than I already was. By continuing to carry our child, it would only be a reminder of death.

We scheduled for the appointment in two days time so that we wouldn't have to draw it out. What would happen between us now? I didn't know. We both hurt and we both wish we knew why this happened but, doctors said we could only find out after labor then we could request for an autopsy.

I had personally asked Dr. Miller if I could give birth in one of the private rooms upstairs. I didn't want to be around other women who had healthy, live babies. I didn't need a reminder of what I couldn't have. It was a bit pricey for the room but, I didn't care. i just wanted to lesson the pressure. At least a little.