Aquarelle [h.s]

nine

I ended up telling Harry not to come to mine on Thursday, telling myself that we both needed some time apart to figure things out after the conversation we had on Wednesday, even though I was quite sure that the only one that needed it was me.

The next time our paths were set to cross again was on Monday, after almost a week apart that I spent trying to figure out if all the worry I was going through was worth it to simply have him as a model. Maybe I should've just put my future on hold for a while until I found someone else, because I couldn't help but feel like it would've inevitably been the end of me, and I wasn't even sure why.

I looked up quickly in the second I heard a knocking sound on the door of my studio and I stood up, taking a deep breath and reminding myself to act normally before walking towards the door and opening it.

Harry was waiting on the other side, checking his phone. I let my eyes travel over his body, from the brownish shade of the trousers he was wearing to the thin silvery chain of the necklace around his neck, suddenly realising what I was doing and scooting to the side to allow him to step in.

He sent me a little glance, but walked in anyway, locking his phone and putting it into the pocket of his usual black trench coat. "Hey" he said, the low tone he used making his voice sound deeper than usual, and I gave him a little nod.

"Hi" I replied quietly, closing the door and turning towards him, just in time to see him take off his coat and hang it next to mine. "So uh" I continued, trying my best to sound friendly but keep my distance at the same time, "I was thinking of doing something a bit different today."

He hummed, walking into the studio, and I followed him, carefully walking around him to reach my desk, going through the myriad of papers on there to find the drawing I'd just finished of him.

I didn't really know why I wanted to show it to him considering that his job simply consisted on posing for me, and not giving an opinion about my artworks, but I couldn't help myself. I'd always shown him my drawings of him, it just seemed fair to keep doing that. We both knew that he was so much more than just a model, a nameless canvas, to me, just like I was so much more than someone just randomly taking pictures of him to him.

I finally found the canvas, pressing my lips together when I discovered it was a bit smudged, a faint pencil shadow on the side, that I was quite sure I could've easily removed with an eraser. I put it over the papers I'd piled up on the side and looked up, stopping my actions when I saw what was going on in front of me.

While I was busy Harry had wandered off to the side of the studio, and was now looking at the signs on the wall, standing right in front of it. I studied his side profile, observing the mildly curious but confused look on his face, a faint pout on his lips.

I quietly rounded the desk and walked towards him, stopping at his side and looking up at the wall. "It's my colour palette" I simply said, staring at the squares of different shades on the whiteness of the wall, with little numbers at the bottom. "There's pencils, acrylics and watercolours. I don't really use those ones though, I don't feel really comfortable with them."

"Why on the wall?" He asked, confused, and I shrugged, glancing up at him. The look on his face was less puzzled than before, but it was quite clear that he still had no idea of what was going on, and if I had to be honest neither did I. I didn't really know why I'd decided to colour the wall, it'd just seemed like a good idea at the moment. To be fair, I still didn't regret it. It was nice to always have it there, without having to worry about losing it - as I often used to in the past.

I gave him a little shrug. "I don't really know" I said honestly, and he nodded slightly.

I'd thought it was a fun idea for the acrylics and watercolours, and then I'd just ended up doing the same with the pencils, too. I was aware that a painted wall had the potential to be one of the worst things to use a bunch of pencils on, but after all I only needed to see what colour they were, so I'd never really minded - not as much as I should've, at least.