Sitting at the edge of the bed, I tried to remember my last moments with her. We'd been in our room; she had stood in-between my legs as I hugged her to me. Her body had been warm and comforting. Her scent had surrounded me, bringing joy to my senses. She was my sanity.
She'd been angry that morning because I told her not to go, something in me didn't want her to leave. She was my salvation to my chaotic life, the only thing that grounded my wolf and I. The feeling I had forced me to cling to her like a disobedient pup. Her hands had attempted to soothe me, but I still begged. I had felt it in my core that something would happen, but she wouldn't listen. She wanted to visit the neighboring packs to introduce herself as the new Luna to mine. She tried to stake her claim, showcase her willingness to be a voice. My Lily would have been the perfect Luna.
We were scheduled to be mated under the next full moon, just weeks away. The Goddess would have blessed us. The Moon would have smiled and embraced us. We would have had a future, a future that before her, was filled with war and death. She had been the life I had desperately searched for, longed for. The life I craved to save my own. My salvation.
My hands fisted, claws digging into my palms; I slammed them into the blankets. It wasn't right; she should be here, her body should be in my hands, her scent should be surrounding me, embracing me, her wolf should be calling out. I should be able to see her smile, listen to her laugh, and watch her lips as she spoke to me. Run my hands through her blonde hair.
But.
There was no longer a scent.
No warmth.
No melodic laughter or silly conversations.
The feel of her silky locks falling through my fingers, no more.
It was all gone.
There was nothing left.
No scent or voice.
Not even her body.
The delighted eyes that would gaze at me as if I would give her the world was covered in blackness in my mind.
All I had left was barely her memory.
If it hadn't been for the troubles with the Elders and the disappearance of Omegas, I would have escorted her. I would have gone with her, protected her.
I growled at myself, hands pulling at my hair, elbows resting on my knees as I hunched over and tried to hold onto my sanity. My wolf thrashed within my mind, angry, devastated, hurt, depressed. He was everything that I was and more. We may not have been mated yet, but our wolves had imprinted on one another, and the absence we both felt within our soul was catastrophic.
I'd failed her.
We failed her.
I allowed him to take her from us. She had no one to protect her, no one to answer her howls. She had died alone.
My heart constricted in pain. She had always made me promise that when either of us died, we would do so together, and I failed her. I had promised to protect her life, cherish her very being, yet she slipped through my fingers like water, before I could even grasp hold.
The build-up of frustration and anger was overwhelming. My body trembled with the unrestrained emotions, my wolf thrashing about wanting to take over and kill.
I needed to find the Alpha that killed her. He took what was mine, and I made sure to brand what was his.
I felt hot tears sting the backs of my eyes as I held them in. That Omega deserved it. He could have done something, anything. He could have tried. He hadn't been officially apart of that pack. He could have run when he had the chance.
