SLOW BURN

38. the wrong message

JOSH

I pick up the red mug and take a sip of the coffee then set it down on the table. It's one of Natalie's mugs. It has her work's company's logo on it. I like having her things in my apartment. No. I like having her in my apartment, period.

These past few days have been great. I know she has a lot to do with how well I feel since Monday. Today is already Friday and I can't wait for her to get home from work. I can't wait to go back to work myself. I've been off the whole week and won't be back until Monday. I tried going back today but I was sent back home by my own father.

I don't like being in the apartment all day. It makes me feel useless. So I've spent the last three mornings outside walking and trying to run. I feel better. I feel like I'm ready to go back to work. At the same time, I appreciate the time I get to spend with Natalie.

Tomorrow is a big day for us.

I told her I'd do the talking but I honestly have no idea of what I'm going to say. I'm hoping the words come to me on the spot. I better get it together. We only get one shot at this. That's it. I do feel some relief in knowing that whatever happens tomorrow, Natalie and I won't have to hide after that. We'll be free from this burden. It's important that we tell our parents before Brad to avoid misunderstandings. I know Brad is not going to react well with the news anyhow so I'm not too stressed about that. He'll get over it. He'll have to.

There is a knock on the door and I frown. I'm not expecting anyone and Natalie won't be home until a couple of hours. Plus she has a key. I set the mug down on the coffee table and walk to the front door to open it.

My mind goes blank when I see Cassie standing on the other side. I hadn't even thought about her. I've just been avoiding her calls and texts. I didn't think she'd actually come. I guess this would be the perfect time to set things clear with her once and for all. I have to remember that I can't tell her I'm with Natalie yet. The last thing we need is for Cassie to go tell Brad about us before we do.

I wish I wouldn't have dated her in the time Natalie and I were apart. I jumped off the horse too quick. I was just trying to move on. It was obviously not a wise decision. I know that I probably got her hopes up which sucks because the last thing I want is to hurt her. Then again, the things she said to Natalie weren't very nice. I look at her and can't believe she was capable of saying those things probably hoping Natalie would leave me alone. She doesn't understand that we don't choose who we love. If we could, then I wouldn't have chosen my brother's girlfriend....or maybe I would have. Yes. I definitely would've still chosen Natalie.

"Cassie, hey," I say not hiding the surprise in my voice.

"Hey," She smiles at me then her eyes roam over my naked chest. "You look-better."

"Thanks. I do feel better," I say. "What's up?"

"Uh-may I come in?" She asks looking inside my apartment.

"Right, yeah. Sorry." I open the door wider for her to walk in then close it behind us.

"Nice place," She says slowly looking around the living room. Her eyes stopping on the coffee table before looking up at me and smiling.

"Thanks," I say awkwardly keeping my distance from her. I wish I had a shirt on.

She smiles at me. "You've been ignoring my calls."

I'm a little surprised that she is calling me out on it but then again, I do remember her being pretty direct. I hesitate, not really knowing how to say what I want to say. It would be easier if I could tell her the truth-that I have a girlfriend that I'm very much into but I know I can't tell her. I don't know what she would do with the information and I don't want to find out.