Back in Black // Sirius Black

Chapter 8

<<<Alexandra Black>>>

When I picked up Cassie, Regulus, and Remus from King's Cross Station, nobody wanted to talk. We used Side-Along Apparition to get home, with Regulus on Remus' arm and Cassie on mine. Her grip was cold and unforgiving on my wrist. Despite my worries and dread, I knew it was time for the truth.

Once we safely arrived home, away from prying ears, Cassie looked at me expectantly. She hadn't said a word to me since her Howler. Regulus didn't seem to know anything and acted completely normal. He excitedly greeted Snuffles and started to tell me about his favorite classes. Cassie's eyes seemed to burn into my skull. Remus started to pale and squirm beside me as she regarded us with an angry expression worthy of her grandmother, Walburga Black.

"Mum, do have anything to share?" Cassie spat. She folded her arms. It felt as if there was a frog caught in my throat.

"Regulus, Cassie, will you please sit down," I swallowed. Regulus looked confused as I conjured two chairs for them to sit in. "I owe you one great explanation."

In the absence of Veritaserum, the entire truth tumbled from my lips. Starting from my friendship with the Marauders and ending with the death of the Potters, I recalled my Hogwarts years, sparing only the intimate, romantic details and stories of illegal shenanigans. My camaraderie with Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter was retold. I spoke of falling in love during my sixth year and engagement in seventh. The secret of the Order of the Phoenix was revealed, and I explained our mission and all the feats we accomplished. I spoke about the truth behind the late Regulus Black and his death, and then the birth of my daughter- the first child of Sirius Black. I started to tear up when I recalled the suspicions of the spy in the Order, and how it tore my friendship with Remus apart. Lastly, I gravely replayed the trial and the death of the Potters. 

"-On that same day," I swallowed, locking eyes with Regulus. "I found out I was pregnant again. Sirius... I never told him. He still doesn't know to this day about you, Regulus. I always thought it would be safer for you two if you didn't know the truth. But it is true, what the Fat Lady said. I married a murderer and you are both his children... All along I was only trying to protect you. You're all I have left-"

I started to choke up, and Remus squeezed my arm. My hand flew to my chest and I regarded my children. Neither spoke during my confession. Somehow, the condensed version of my story sounded pure, and painted Sirius Black in a positive light until the last events. Cassie and Regulus seemed to watch me in a piteous way- my words painted the story of true love gone wrong. They attentively listened, and I searched their faces for any sort of reaction. Cassie emotionlessly stared while Regulus looked from person to person as if he expected one of us to jump up and say, "Just kidding!"

"Please forgive me," I begged, wincing at the cracks in my voice.

"I understand why you did it, Mum," said Cassie. "But I think we would be safer if we always knew the truth."

Regulus shifted in his seat.

"I knew Sirius was our father," he whispered. I stared at the black-haired boy incredulously. 

"You did?!"

"Yes... Professor Snape told me the truth on my first day."

I cussed under my breath but still lowered my head in shame.

"I wish you both had heard the truth from me," I admitted.