Finding Myself I ▽

concert

✖

The lights are flashing.

My heart is pounding to the beat of the bass.

Thousands of people and yet I feel at home.

I feel free.

I feel light.

I'm warm.

Yet the breeze keeps me cool.

But it only lasts so long.

There's a pit in my stomach and suddenly I can feel it all.

It's not bad, but it's so full.

So much.

So many emotions in the room I'm overflowing.

But the music ringing in my eardrums helps bring me back down to the ground.

Back down to reality.

Or lack of.

I think.

And think.

And think.

I'm anxious for the end.

I don't want to go back.

I'm empty.

I'm full.

There's so much, so little.

I don't know how I feel.

It's good and bad.

It's everything and nothing.

The person in the front calms me down.

They are content.

They are at home.

And it helps balance the emotions.

It's still so much but it's easier.

It's surreal.

And magical.

And for awhile I'm at peace.

Such an odd place for me to feel good.

So much is changing.

But at the pit it's just happiness.

For once it's not empty.

And for a small, remarkable, unique moment I feel alright.

I'm weightless.

And heavy.

And I'm leaving.

And it feels wrong.

Like the moment shouldn't end.

But it's over now.

Like a dream that you never got to finish.

And instead you have to finish what you woke up to.

I don't want to wake up.

I want to stay asleep.

✖

~~~

I went to a concert and I can't even begin to explain how it felt. There's so much and I'm at a loss for words. This poem is obviously about me being at the concert, or maybe not so obviously, but it is kind of everywhere and formatted strange. I wouldn't have been able to have written it any other way though because I using how I feel, and this is how I feel.