I almost fed my cousin to a snake.

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"Up! Get up! Now!"

Harriet Potter woke with a start and banged her head on a shelf in the broom cupboard she was sleeping in. Her aunt, Petunia, rapped on the door again.

"Up!" she snapped and stalked off, hideous kitten heels clicking as she went.

Harrie sighed and moved her limbs to roll out of the space and staggered to her feet pulling on her glasses and tying back her hair quickly. She tiptoed past the mantlepiece on which at least twenty pictures of a blond Boy with the complexion of her aunt's favourite handbag were all squished together. Harriet tried not to sigh as she walked into the kitchen.

"Watch the food," her aunt ordered in her shrill and piercing voice, "Don't you dare let anything burn! I want everything perfect on my diddykin's special day."

Harriet nodded. It was her cousin Dudley's birthday. The only ones that hadn't mentioned it one thousand times in the past week were the spiders in her cupboard under the stairs.

Moving the bacon around the pan, she thought about the dream she had had that night. She remembered a flying Motorbike and a stuffed toy dragon. A wolf had appeared as well and someone had been laughing happily. Harriet smiled to herself. It had been a nice dream.

"Why are you smiling like that?" aunt Petunia snapped at her. The woman narrowed her beady eyes suspiciously. "You didn't spit in the food did you?"

"Oh...err, no." Harriet replied quickly, going slightly pale.

Aunt Petunia opened her mouth to say something but was distracted by what looked like two pigs wearing very cheap wigs entering the kitchen. They were unfortunately Harriet's cousin, Dudley, and uncle, Vernon.

Harriet placed the food on the small kitchen table while Dudley counted his huge pile of presents.

"Thirty six?" he asked his parents sounding disgruntled.

Harriet suddenly wished she had spat in the food.

"Darling, you haven't counted Marge's present yet. See, it's under this big one from Mummy and Daddy," Petunia tried to cheer the spoiled brat up.

"Thirty-seven then," Dudley said going red in the face, the normal signal for an upcoming tantrum.

Petunia defused the situation with, "And we'll buy you two more presents while we're out today. How about that? Two more presents!" She gave her son a bright smile.

Dudley screwed up his face in thought. Harriet wondered if he had the brain cells for simple calculation.

"Then," Dudley began, "Then I'll have..."

"Thirty-nine, sweetums." Petunia said in her sweetest voice. Harriet found it sounded very annoying.

"Oh, all right then." Dudley sat down and started to eat his breakfast, satisfied with the result. Vernon chuckled and told him he would be a great businessman one day. Then Dudley began to tear off the brightly coloured paper from his gifts. If only you could gift someone a brain and a socially acceptable personality.

After breakfast, a Dudley-meltdown and a long discussion between his parents, Harriet found herself squished in the back of Vernon's hideous car between Dudley and his friend Pierce. She had successfully blocked out her surroundings and was busy picturing ways to escape the family at the Zoo for some alone time.

She was only there because no one could take her for the day. The Dursleys usually pushed her off on someone else for their son's big day. Someone nicer, usually. Someone who didn't watch her like a hawk.

During the trip, Harriet soon realised this wasn't going to be as easy as she thought. All those years of spying on the neighbours meant Petunia could keep an eye on her without an issue. It still unnerved Harriet, who hated attention.

The reptile house was a welcome change of the situation. The snakes unnerved Petunia so much she excused herself from the group and went to wait outside. Dudley was already waddling from snake to snake, ogling them through the glass and rapping on it sharply trying to get them to move. Harriet felt a stab of sympathy for the Boa Constrictor that looked as if it was done with everything. She knew the feeling all too well. As soon as Dudley, Pierce and Vernon had moved on, she approached the glass quietly.

"Sorry about him," she offered an apology, "He has no idea what it's like to be stared at day after day, with people pressing their ugly faces against the glass."

The snake raised its head looking surprised.

"You can understand me?" Harriet gasped, eyes going wide. The snake nodded, looking as freaked out as she felt.

"So..." Harriet began, feeling like she should initiate conversation, "Where are you from?" The snake jabbed its head in the direction of the sign on the wall next to where it was being kept.

"Brazil, huh?" Harriet smiled, "Was it nice there?"

The snake jabbed its head in the same direction.

"Bred in captivity..." Harriet read. She could relate to the snake even more now. "I see," she said turning back to the snake, "I never knew my parents either."

The snake cocked its head sympathetically.

"Guys get over here!" Dudley yelled running over and shoving Harriet to the ground, "You won't believe what the snake is doing!" He shoved his fat face against the glass.

A second later, there was no more glass. Dudley fell forward with a shriek. Harriet couldn't help it and laughed. The snake slithered out of the terrarium, paused and turned to her.

"Thanksss amiga," it hissed, sounding grateful. Then it proceeded to slither on out of the reptile house, snapping playfully at people's heels on the way out. Harriet silently wished it all the luck it could have.

Dudley made to get out of the terrarium, only to find out that the glass had been replaced. His face when he realised he was trapped was so funny, Harriet couldn't help but laugh again.

After catching sight of Vernon's face, she stopped abruptly.

In the end, Dudley was retrieved from his cage (with no less than the help of eight zoo keepers and a fishing net) and Harriet was locked in her closet for the rest of the week. The memory was worth it.

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First chapter of the rewrite! Yay!

If you've read the old version, there will be some differences. Some may or may not be Major.

Anyways, hope you enjoy.

XOXO, Drachma

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