Strangled Heart (Thorin Oakenshield x Reader) (The Hobbit)

*19* Regrets *19*

Ambrosia's POV

   After the company's sudden appearance last night, I didn't sleep a wink. Remembering their faces was more than enough for me. Remembering their happy faces and forcing back their distraught ones was beyond perfect. 

   But seeing them all here, their confused and shocked faces- that hurt. It made everything that had happened suddenly much realer. I suppose it hadn't hit me before that they would hate me. Sure, I knew that would happen, but it hadn't really hit. But last night, when they saw me I didn't see hatred. I saw surprise. But why? 

   Hearing the bustling of many waking dwarves, I usher the children downstairs, still brushing Fang's hair. 

   The moment we're downstairs, eyes are on us. But I do not focus on that. Instead, I focus on the wriggling Fang in front of me.

   "Ouch! Mom, that hurts," Fang complains as I finish brushing out the knot in her hair. 

   "Well it would've been much worse if I hadn't brushed it out. Now go get breakfast with your siblings. I'm sure your Uncle Beorn has made more than enough for you all," I instruct, taking the brush from her now smooth black hair and setting it in one of the pockets on my dress. 

   Fang rushes over to the kitchen full of dwarves with Talon, Avaline and Joshua, and they all sit down to eat. 

   Letting out a tired sigh, I trudge into the kitchen behind Beorn, who is conversing with the dwarves. 

   "It would be unwise to leave today. The woodland elves will be patrolling this side of the forest today and tomorrow. Until then, you are permitted to stay. But only because Ambrosia, Avaline and Joshua speak very highly of you," Beorn advises them, handing the children their breakfast's.

   Reaching up into the cabinets behind Beorn, I grab my burn salve, fresh bandages, a rag, and a water basin. Quickly, I use a spell to fill the water basin. I would comment on what Beorn has advised the group, but I do not believe it to be my place anymore. I left them after swearing myself to them. That is not what an honorable member of the company would have done. And I am a monster - they know this. I have no place in their affairs any more.

   Tapping Beorn's shoulder, I gain his (and by consequence, everyone else's) attention. 

   "Could you keep an eye on the children for me?"

   Beorn nods and I walk out of the kitchen and up the stairs, feeling eyes on my back the whole way. I have not yet addressed the company yet. But from the sounds of it, we have time.

   Making my way over to my bed, I sit down facing away from the door, setting my supplies beside me. Slowly, I begin to unwrap the bandages around my neck, arms, legs and hands. My grey dress is just barely up enough to see my burns. 

   I turn to the basin of water and grab the salve. Opening it, I stick my fingers in to grab a bit of the grey salve. Slowly, I begin spreading the salve over the wounds on my legs, watching as it disappears into my slightly charred green skin. These burns will likely leave scars for the the rest of my life. And it would seem that whoever is watching me knows that too.

   "You do not need to hide, Oakenshield. I will not bite."

   Hearing the floorboards creak behind me, Thorin slowly comes into view. His seems remorseful.

   "You may sit, Oakenshield."

   Just as slowly, Thorin walks to my side and takes a seat. He has not spoken a word, but his eyes are definitely on me.

   Finishing spreading the salve, I take out the bandages and begin to unravel them. A hand is placed on one of mine, and I look up to see Thorin's sapphire eyes watching me with a pleading look.