just pretend

.28

Currently at Starbucks writing this while wearing my crocs. Call me vsco but fite me i'm doing this for y'all bc y'all keep bombarding me to update lol.

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Time flies by quickly and I see very little of Leo. In all honesty, I've tried to keep my distance but without hurting him.

It's best I keep things this way till I figure my shit out. I haven't been too close with Keanu either lately, this she's picked up one.

Instead I've tried focusing on school but that gets boring quickly.

I eventually give into the boredom and make a very regretful decision, I go to the mall with Keanu.

Now I'm sitting at a Starbucks just thinking while she goes up and orders her drink.

"Okay," she says as she sets down her drink and pokes her pink metal straw though it. "I need to buy a new bathing suit and some cute summer clothes for the trip before all the winter crap starts going on sale."

"Yeah, you told me already," I say. She repeats things a lot.

"Alrighty then lets go," she says. "Oh actually, I've been wanting this Kate Spade purse for a bit. It's nothing crazy I just need a red purse to go with my red summer dress. Of course I could use my black or white one but I like my purse to match my outfits."

"You just got a Louis bag? You need more?"

"You boys won't ever understand."

I sigh.

"While we're here lets buy you some summer clothes."

"I have some."

"You have worn down, alcohol stained t-shirts from summer. Your mom asked I drag you to Ralph Lauren to pick you up some polo's."

"Cause I need more of those." I roll my eyes.

"You're such a twit to shop with," she groans.

"You're not too fun to shop with either."

She sighs dramatically. Half our conversation has been one of us sighing or groaning.

"We leave January fourteenth to the twenty first," she says switching the topic as we walk. "You'll be eighteen."

"That's... what... three months away?"

"Something like that. You going to do anything for your eighteenth? I don't know what to do. I went to New York for my sixteenth. I'm thinking I'll go crazy this time and try to convince parents to let me go to Bora Bora with friends."

"Yeah, I don't know."

"Do something fun. It's an excuse to go on a vacation."

"You realize we have school right? We're already missing a week in January."

"Fine, ask them for another car, I don't know."

It's quiet for a bit till she eventually starts talking up again about school.

I walk with her barely paying attention as I realize I don't seem to like her anymore.

Of course over time I've started to be more distant but at least I still missed her at times and wanted to see her. Doing this like this was boring but I did them because I enjoyed her company.

I don't enjoy her company.

As awful as it is, I want to rip my brains out as something to entertain me. I'd rather shop with my mom.

I have absolutely nothing in common with this girl other then we're spoiled twits. We never have conversations. It's always her ranting, me listening.