Sovereign (Silenced Part 2)

Part 4

"Are you talking about me?" Jason said. He moved toward Cassy with a smirk.

"Eew no." Cassy said putting a foot out so he couldn't get close. I shifted setting my empty cup on the counter and Jason flinched. Cassy snorted and burst out laughing.

"Afraid of another broken nose?" Cassy asked.

"She sucker punched me. I've been waiting to return the favor." He snapped and glared at me. I raised my eyebrows. He wanted to fight? That could be a fun distraction. I'd never tried to fight after drinking. I shifted to hop off the counter. A hand clamped down on my arm. I turned to see who was stopping me. Alex opened his mouth to speak but before he could some one else did.

"Well then I guess you'll have to keep waiting." Thomas said from behind Jason. Jason turned to glare at him.

"Unless you are interested in getting your ass kicked." Thomas said lifting an eye brow at him.

"I could take you." Jason muttered. I tilted my head sizing up each guy. Maybe Jason could take Thomas in a fight. It would be interesting to watch.

"Do you think you could take them?" Thomas inclined his head toward Quinn and Alex. They both glared at Jason. "Cause I don't..." I let out a huff of air. Of course, he couldn't win a fight against Alex or Quinn and together they would crush him. They looked ready to snap him in half right now and they weren't even in a fighting place.

Jason grumbled something under his breath but walked away. I couldn't pick out any of what he had said.

'What did he say?' I asked.

"He said you're pretty and he wants my foot in his ass." Alex said taking a drink from his own cup. I nudged him with my elbow. Just because I could feel the tingles again didn't mean I'd lost my mind. Jason would rather have his finger nails pulled out than to have to say anything nice about me.

"Thanks..." Cassy said to Thomas. I'd nearly forgotten he was there. I nodded in agreement with Cassy. It was nice of him to step in like that, especially since last time I'd spoken to him he had made it pretty clear he didn't want anything to do with me. Two rejections back to back. I was winning at life.

"No problem." Thomas said. "Mind scooting over?" Thomas didn't wait for an answer. He positioned himself to lean on the counter between Alex and I. I frowned at him. It was rude to ask a question and not wait for an answer and I really liked sitting by Alex.

"So what have you been up to Ry?" Thomas asked. He shifted so that his arm was resting on the counter behind me. I raised my eyes to glance at the others. Quinn caught my eye first. He had one eye brow up again like he wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. He was waiting for my cue either way. He would back off if I wanted Thomas or he would tell Thomas to shove off if I preferred that.

"Training and raising a baby." Alex answered for me when I made no move to answer.

I nodded in agreement. That was pretty much the extent of my life right now. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss him.

"Doesn't sound like much fun..." Thomas said. His hand smoothed over the back of my shirt and he turned completely to face me. I tried not to cringe away. I didn't want Quinn to throw him out and one wrong move would mean Thomas got the boot.

I shrugged. With Thomas standing even closer I decided it would be less intimate if I looked some where else. Any where else. He was blocking my view of the others now so I had to look else where for a distraction. I'd barely begun to look around when my eyes froze on Silas. He was scowling. His eyes were focused on Thomas at first but suddenly, as if sensing my eyes on him, he looked up at me. The scowl remained but his eyes softened to something that did appear genuinely sad. I couldn't look away. The green was a stark contrast to the dark stubble on his chin. It looked like he hadn't shaved since our discussion in his office. A movement to his right grabbed my attention. My eyes refocused. I could only see her hair and her back. She leaned forward toward his face.

I jumped off the counter and went out the back door to the porch like I'd just been burned. I didn't see what she was doing. I didn't want to know. I couldn't know. My chest burned. My throat felt tight. I grabbed the railing and squeezed. I blinked several times but my vision wouldn't clear. My breath came out in painful gasps.

"Are you ok?" Thomas asked. His hand on my back felt like coals. I turned, forcing him to remove his hand, and I stepped back. Thomas stepped forward. With my back to the railing there was nowhere else to go. My chest tightened painfully. I ignored it. Nothing was going to happen here. I hadn't had a panic attack since I started the medication. I couldn't, not now. I forced air in and out through my nose. It wasn't enough air but at least there was some.

"Look I know you are having a tough time with what happened between you and Silas but... We have a connection. I know you feel something for me too and I'm right here for you." Thomas said.

I shook my head quickly. I didn't have the same type of feelings for Thomas that I did for Silas. The feelings were different. They were more intense. They were more. Thomas face hardened as I continued to shake my head. He didn't like my response. I wanted to explain but I needed something to write on if we were going to have a conversation like this. I shifted to walk past him. His arm shot out catching me. He pushed me back into the railing and smashed his mouth down on to mine. My vision flickered with the intensity of the wave of panic that crashed into me. I tried to push him back, away. I couldn't move. He wouldn't budge. I couldn't breathe. He caught my arms stopping my attempts. My brain was cloudy, foggy. I couldn't think. He leaned into me further. The railing dug into my back. I tried to turn my face away. His other hand tangled in my hair. His teeth scraped against my lips. Darkness flickered.

~My scalp burned. If he squeezed any tighter he would rip the entire handful of hair out. I couldn't fight back. I didn't want to be scalped.

"I'm being to rough with you?" Jackson growled. "He doesn't know what rough is. I can show him rough."

I dug my nails into his hand as I was jerked around toward the bed I had been avoiding...~

"Hey!"

Thomas was ripped away from me. The sudden freedom let light flicker back in and I was in the present again. I gripped the railing and tried to pull in a breath. I couldn't. I raised my hand to my chest. It was so tight. It hurt so much.

"Easy Ry..." Aaron held his hands palm up toward me. He wanted to help. I needed it. I needed help. I reached back toward him. I was a trembling disaster. I let Aaron do the rest. He shifted closer and wrapped his arms around me. It was meant to be soothing. The warmth of his affection only brought forth my tears. I broke. I cried in earnest. My body quaked with each silent sob. Aaron muttered something. I couldn't even hear him. I was too far gone. The fear, the reality, the disgust, and the shame, so much shame. It was all too much.

"What the hell were you doing?" The anger in Silas voice made me cringe further in to Aaron.