matty healy, falling in love over night

his ex

i walked into the coffee shop and spotted her right away. she was sat at the back with a book and tall coffee.

"just a latte please" i told the barista as a handed over the money

"i'll bring it to your table" he told me

i smiled back at him before turning on my heal. i was dressed in black skinny jeans, chelsea boots and a cropped white t-shirt paired with a burberry knee length coat. she looked up with her blue eyes and smiled. i didn't expect her to. in the photos i'd seen from her instagram her eyes always seem to flash cold, not warm.
but her smile was inviting, i didn't feel as scared as i did before

"hey" she said softly

"hiya" i said sitting opposite her

she placed the book on the table and looked at me wide eyed, those eyes knew the words about to fall from my mouth.
everyone touched by matty healy knew what i was going to say

"what's he done this time then?" she sighed relaxing into her seat

"what do you know about him and gabby?" i asked. her eyes went wide and she bit her lip

"i don't kno-"

"please don't. i'm having his kid and i want the fucking truth" i pleaded

"okay" she said taking a deep breath

"he cheated on me with her. several times as you know. i was, i was just a kid when a met him. a really messed up kid"

she stopped as the barista placed my coffee on the table

"he made it beautiful. he made it all beautiful, he makes you feel so special. so i believed him when he said he was done with her. but every fucking time he went back. i forgave him over and over and he broke me over and over. the drugs, the band and gabby all our weighed me ... i finally had enough. i left the country. i went to paris" she smiled remembering the memory

"i think i'll run away to paris" i muttered

"i didn't run" she corrected me

"i ... got out" she added

"i'm just ... do you think he cheated on me with her?"

she winced and tried to dance around my question

"the thing about matty is he doesn't understand. the worlds too big for him and he feels so alone. i'm not justifying anything he does because i am long done with that boy"

"don't make excuses" i told her

"i'm not" she said sighing with defeat

"i just don't think you want the truth grace"

"i do" i told her

"once you know you can't go back. you understand that?"

"gemma please" , i felt like crying

"yes"

"yes?"

"he cheated on you. multiple time" she said finally

"do you know when?" , she nodded

"when he went away the first time on tour when your friend passed, a couple days before you went to paris, at lollopoloza, a couple times in madrid ... that's all i know but from what george said he's probably done it more ... "

i was in shock. our whole relationship had been a lie. i couldn't find the words for a couple seconds. i thought about this whole time, the whole time we had been together. he took me on holiday. he brought me to paris. he made me feel fucking special. and she was right because he made you feel so fucking special when really to him you were nothing.

the fact george knee was another low blow, he'd always made our like he was protecting me from matty but in reality he was just as bad. a real friend would have told me that my whole relationship was a lie.

"so the whole time?" i said not knowing wether to laugh or cry

"i'm sorry" she said looking at me, i shook my head

"i guess we are in the same boat" i laughed, a dead laugh

"i guess we are" she agreed

"he told me he'd break me" i said staring at the floor. the room had started to feel to small

"no you don't. you don't let this ruin you. you hold your head high and you walk away. don't stay like i did now you know"

"how am i suppose to do this? i'm 19 for fuck sake and i've a minimum wage job. the baby's being born in four months i-"

"you are strong that is how. matty has not and will not break you. i won't allow it"

"why are you being so nice?" i asked as a tear rolled down my cheek. i'd felt so numb until now

"because i had nobody there for me. i had no one to tell me to leave but you do. you have me now" she said reducing her hand across the table and holding mine

i barley knew her but i felt so safe with her. she had been through this at a much younger age than me so she knew how hard is was going to be

"what do i do?" i asked her

"well i'm gonna be honest. you can't leave fully like i did. as much as i fucking hate him the kid is his" she said

"yeah, i just, i can't. i cant be around him now. even thinking about him makes me want to throw up" i said feeing vacant

"but you have four months"

"four months" i repeated

"and england is a big place, move start a fresh"

"i got into uni in london though" i told her

"there's others. don't stay. he will suck you back in and .. and you deserve more"

"gemma?" i asked her

"yes?"

"you're very strong" i said

she smiled while tucking her curls behind her ears

"i didn't have a choice. don't let him win. ever. and don't let him have you back"

"i love him so much" i admitted to her

"i know"

"how do you turn it off? i cant survive with this pain" i said the tears coming faster, the hole in my chest was exactly the pain i'd tried so hard to avoid

"i'll let you know when i figure it out. i've been hurting for four years now" she said her own eyes becoming cloudy with emotions

"does it hurt less?"

"it does, it does after time" she assured me