Light

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LEVI'S POV

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in the bed.

I stretched my arms above my head and scoffed slightly to myself under my breath in self depreciation. Never was there a time in my life that I'd thought I'd mind being in bed by myself. I had never thought, at any point in the future, that I'd prefer someone's company over being on my own.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of water running coming from the adjacent bathroom. I sat up, letting out a low groan as I stretched and moved my sore muscles. I had thought that after all these years in the survey corps, I'd be used to the strenuous and rigorous physical routines of each day, but still, my muscles seemed to fight against me, as if to force me to take a break every once and awhile.

I flung my legs over the side of the bed and reached for my shirt on the bedside table as my bare feet touched the cool floor. Pulling the loose material over my head, I shrugged my arms through the sleeves quickly and walked across the room to the closed bathroom door. I stood there for a brief moment, not hearing any sound from the other side of the door, and fleetingly wondered if I should let (F/N) have some time to herself, before deciding that she wouldn't care if I entered.

I pushed open the door, steam wafting out from the humid room as I did so, and entered the bathroom. I stopped for a moment in the doorway, my eyes falling on (F/N), who sat motionless in the large tub, buried in the water with only her nose and upward visible. The water lapped softly around her skin, but she remained frozen, her eyes closed, as if she were trying to focus inward, if only for a brief moment.

I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe, watching her silently. I'd give her a few more seconds before I interrupted her. Beside, it gave me a rare moment where I could study her, unnoticed by anyone, and take her in.

Damn it all. She was beautiful.

I finally pushed myself up from the door frame and padded softly over to tub. Crouching down beside her, I rested my arms on the lip of the tub, my gaze never leaving her, and said in a low voice, so as not to startle her, "Oi, (F/N)."

She let out a long sigh and then opened her eyes, and hell, when she met my gaze, I was struck again by how beautiful she was. It took my breath away briefly. I had thought just moments ago that she couldn't be any prettier, but when those deep, thought filled, intense eyes met mine, I was once again proved wrong.

I raised an eyebrow at her, realizing I had been staring at her blankly for a few silent moments, and then said, a slight teasing tone etching my words, "Trying to drown yourself? Was last night really that bad?"

I made the joke as I tried to lighten the mood. When she had opened her eyes and met my gaze, I saw the brief flash of pain there, the sadness. I knew she'd been thinking too deeply again, and I didn't know how to help, just that I wanted to. Desperately.

She let out a slight snort of humorless laughter and reached up a delicate, thin hand to push some damp hair off of her forehead before she said, "If I wanted to go, I'd do something far quicker and less painful than drowning myself. I'm not stupid, you know."

I knew she was being sarcastic, but it still pained me just a bit to hear her tell me she wasn't stupid. I knew she wasn't. I'd always known. But I knew, throughout the years, in order to keep my promise to her, I'd made her feel like she was. And to think she ever truly believed that....

I glanced up at her as she dropped her hand back down under the warm water and flashed me a slight, sad smile. My heart jumped slightly in my chest at the sight. Even melancholy, her smile was still the brightest light in my dark world.

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