Forget Her Not

10 | togetherness and home

Liam has this kind of face. A stoic, brooding sort of one that is chiselled by hard lines and a sharp jaw, with a steady, unwavering set to his eyes. Handsome too, and so naturally his face is remarkable, memorable. Coupled together with his towering height and wide shoulders, Liam can easily come off as intimidating to people who do not know him.

"Hey." I answer.

I send him my warmest, polite smile possible. Liam smiles back, and the sun loses all purpose for a moment.

Liam can easily come off as intimidating to people who do not know him, but in reality, silly things like parrots scare him. He hovers uncertainly behind me right now, having faltered in his slow strides after spotting the pair of birds that are perched on somebody's front fence. The one on the left caws throatily to the other, and Liam actually takes a step back.

Liam flashes me an angry look when I giggle at this.

"It's not funny." he says lowly.

His words come out more as a whine though, trailing off into a staggered note at the end. Cute.

"What's not funny?" I ask.

I widen my eyes innocently and humour him. Liam only glares back grumpily like an unhappy cat, and I really cannot help the second giggle that escapes me.

I gesture towards the other side of the street. "We can cross the road?"

Liam seems to consider this for a second, his eyes darting over and then back to pair of unassuming parrots in our path. Then he looks over to my face, and I have to hurriedly wipe away my smile of amusement, because no it is definitely not funny that he is actually considering it.

Liam's lip curls in a little.

"No. Let's go." he says.

Well, he says this, but he is clearly waiting for me to make the first move. To walk first, in front of him. Liam trails behind me in shuffling, close steps. When the parrot on the left squawks at us again, shaking it's multicoloured wings out, Liam jumps and pushes me against my back to go faster.

We are at the very least three whole houses away, before Liam slows his brisk walking pace, now next to me again, and dares to look at my face.

"So," he clears his throat. "How was work?"

Liam can come off as intimidating because of his face, but really, it is his words and attitude that people should be weary of. The way that he is watching me right now, sitting across from me on the library table that we have selected, still looking worried with a purse of his mouth and slightly furrowed eyebrows, is really messing around with my head. I had just told him that I am feeling absolutely, completely fine today. That I am not even the slightest bit tired. Nowhere near close to doing anything stupid like plopping my head down onto his shoulder again.

"I really, feel okay today." I tell him again.

Liam stops fiddling with his left hoodie string. I don't understand how his eyes are capable of going all soft on command like that.

"You should go easier on yourself." he says. "It's senior year, Arden."

I try not to scoff. I know that it isn't Liam's fault, that he does not understand. We just have different priorities in life. Different responsibilities. It isn't Liam's fault, that money is not an issue for him, that it never has been. That it probably never will be, either.

"It's different for us." I tell him.

I go back to reading over our podcast script, making sure that it flows with sense now that we have joined our two halves together. Liam mumbles something under his breath. I look back up.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing." he says back shortly.

I scowl at him and he scowls back, and I do not call him out to ask what his problem is, because a good portion of my heart is still disgustingly soft for him. Vulnerable. Instead, I get back to reading through the script, trying to skim through it all faster.

"I think it's okay." I say finally. "Should we record now?"

Liam pauses for a second, straightening up, before answering.

"Sure."

The silence stretches in our booked library room. I open up a recording application on my laptop and hoist my bag up into my lap to search for my set of earphones.

"It'll pick up the sound better." I say, plugging it into the grey jack on the side. "We'll have to hand it back and forth a bit though."

We finish after the first take. It is not anything difficult, what with how we are only reading off the script. There are a few staggered pauses in between some of our lines though, when are we handing the earphone bud back and forth to speak into the little mic along the right wire. Liam's fingers grasp at mine accidently during one of these incidents, but we both ignore this, and I do not even do anything incriminating in response, like flushing lobster red in the face or stuttering on my next set of lines.

The first take is not perfect. We are not used to the feel of the words in our mouths, and we have not established a thorough flow yet, but I do not especially care, and it seems that Liam does not either. It is good enough so we leave it as it is and get up to leave.

The silence hanging between us has occurred frequently enough, that it is not unusual anymore. We walk out together, but there really is no together aspect to this at all. Liam is a good foot away from me, our footsteps do not sync up and we are both valiantly avoiding eye contact. A stark contrast in comparison to our past shared experiences, where conversation would be easy and Liam would let our fingertips brush a few times, teasing, before letting me thread my fingers through his.

The automatic sliding doors of the library entrance close behind us. We pause by here again, except this time it is not raining, and there is no reason for this pause other than how we are both trying to extract ourselves from each other's company. Liam is not the type of person who is generally worried about being rude. About pleasantries and politeness, if he has no respect or regard for the other party. Liam is not sweet and docile like Sheila, or upbeat and noisy like Kyle. Rather, Liam is hard on the edges like a piece of burnt toast, unpleasant without anyone to scrape past all the black. Caring not enough about anything and yet too much at the same time.

He hesitates now though, in the slacking and then quick tense of his jaw, and the subtle dart of his eyes to my face. He clears his throat briefly, as though the words that he wants to say are choked up and blocked there.

"Bye." I tell him.

"See you." he says back.

I turn my back to walk away. As I am rounding off a street corner, I sneak a quick look backwards. Liam is still standing to the side by the library entrance, upper half of his body cast in shadow, probably waiting for a lift back home.

 ☾☆♔

sorry everybody for the disgusting lack of updates, I'll do my best to time manage wattpad, uni and life better hehe. thanku all for reading and the support, special ty to @perplexions for her lovely comments and for bearing with me <3