matty healy, falling in love over night

5 hours later

19th september

5 hours later we had a perfectly healthy baby girl. rose lia caren, born on the 19th of september.

gemma got there, she held my hand the whole way through it. matty was also there, screaming at him really helped actually. him and gemma refused to look at one another apart from the glare she gave him when he tried to come closer than 67feet to me. it was nice to have her on my side especially with everything going on.

i felt bad for gemma being in that position but the empathy was soon replaced with pain as i pushed and pushed.

5 freaking hours in labour. only me. as soon as it was over and we heard that cry-
it was worth it.
the pain and tears of the past few months were all worth it because they all led down to this.
everything me and matty had been through, the lies, the love and all the years we spent together, it all came down to this.
god we were an awful couple and anybody could see that but we had created this beautiful baby, this girl who had her whole future ahead of her.
this was the start of her life and god she was going to go places, anywhere she wanted, i'd make sure we got her there.

when she was placed in my arms in a white blanket i cried, i looked at her, so pure and beautiful. her eyes closed and her tiny nose, lips pressed together. all the hate in me seemed to disappear. all the anger i held for matty was still there, but so much lighter. i felt happier, like i was me before all the bad things, i was reborn within my child and god, it felt good.

matty was next to hold her, he spoke to her in a way is never ever heard him speak before, he cried and worried about the way he was holding her.
the younger nurse came in and smiled at matty, the way she looked at him said everything i wanted to. he was a natural.
but all the colour seem to flow back to his face and he seemed like the matty i knew before he hurt me.

gemma took her turn holding rose afterwords,

"i never want a baby grace but, she's beautiful" gemma said looking at me with her deep eyes.

"i love her gem"

"so do i" she said wiping her eyes from the misfire that had began to collect within them

matty had gone to get a coffee for us all. she sat in the hospital bed and looked at me

"look what you've done grace" she whispered

"you did this girlie, all by yourself, yes you did" she said talking in a baby voice

"i wasn't alone gem, i had you literally holding my hand"

"she's beautiful" she said looking at me, i saw her own eyes welling up as the nurse came in to do tests on rose.

"i'll be back with her soon don't worry" the nurse told us as she left the room.

i fell onto gemma's arm

"i'm shattered"

"i'll bet" she laughed

"you can go if you're not comfortable gem please don't stay if you don't want to"

"hey non of that. you're my best friend who's just given birth, i'm here for you despite that prick"

speaking of her walked back in as soon as gemma's words left her mouth, matty handed her the coffee. she looked away. he handed me mine, i offered a small smile.

"where is she?" he asked

"tests, don't worry it's all normal" i assured him

he smiled and nodded. i had to look away before i forgot all the things he'd done.
it just all seemed so unimportant now, the hurt and lies, yes it hurt and burned like hell, but it wasn't the most important thing anymore.

there was a tiny little human in our lives who needed us, nothing could come close to that. ever. me and matty were just that, me and matty. nothing more nothing less.

she was back within the hour and in her hospital cradle right beside my bed. i felt safe in that room with her. gemma went back to our flat for the night but matty was still lingering when visiting hours were up

"could i uh could i stay? i'll sleep on the chair and you won't even know i'm here grace i'm"

"yes" i said

"yes?"

"you are her dad"

"thankyou grace honestly it-"

i didn't give him a chance to finish as i turned over to the other side of the bed so i was facing the wall instead of him.

just because i was speaking to him didn't mean we had anything to talk about aside from the bundle of joy called rose. i still wanted nothing to do with him. at all.

4am

she was still asleep when i checked on her, breathing as well. i was worried she want for a second and it drove me insane so i got up to check. she was fine.

her fists were uncurled and she was flat out asleep. matty was the same, his fists uncurled and mouth slightly open while he curled up on the hospital chair.

i climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. the bed was uncomfortable and the covers itchy, i couldn't wait to be back in my own bed.

the doctors told me i would be discharged if not tomorrow the day after so i knew i didn't have long to wait until i was back in my flat with gemma.

matty was planning on staying on the sofa for a couple weeks so he could really see her grow. i didn't know what to say, i didn't want him around but i also didn't want to deprive him from watching his daughter grow up. the pain i would have to endure would nearly kill me but i knew i had to do it for my daughter. i refuses to let him ruin another life.