The fluorescent, blue light of the shield glowed, outlining her figure as she stepped out so slowly, the rain cascading her face like mini waterfalls—like tears, running rivers down her freckled cheeks. He'd never run that fast in his life. Not when he and Hermione were chased by Remus in his werewolf form, not even when he'd raced to get the Tri-Wizard Cup to teleport away from Voldemort himself.
But it was Addie—she was like his fuel, his drive. She was herself and that was enough, well enough, for him to risk his life without a moment's hesitation. Which is, essentially, why he ran from the safety of the shield to her, out into the open. This could have gone so wrong—so wrong. He could have been taken to Voldemort and killed—and she could've been taken to Voldemort and used, once more, as his weapon.
Harry was right behind her as she trailed forwards, the rain completely soaking his uniform, his glasses lens enclosed in droplets. He speedily wrapped his arms around her middle, easily lifting her as he spun around—his back facing the Death Eaters. However, there was no dress, riddled in crystals. No flowing, midnight hair. No stone-cold face.
Addie's long hair dripped, sticking to her face, and as though his touch brought her from the spell, her eyes returned from the dark red back to their normal grey—but the monster was nowhere in sight. They had been open the entire time, unblinking—though it's not as if he could see them.
She, just like in the monster's form, had been able to see everything that was happening, though helpless— as control in that state was, always, far from her reach. A Death Eater walked over to the two, their long, black cloak caressing the grass, a bone mask hiding their identity, strangely calm in the thunderous chaos. His mindless, nitrous oxide laughter, echoing like the storm, sent chills down their spines. Adeline lurched her arm in his direction as he came closer, a strong blast escaping her outstretched hand, pushing back and encasing the wizard in ice—immobilising his movements.
Just as the all-familiar lasso ejected from one of their wands, wrapping tightly around the two, she directed her palms to the base of the shield, and as she moved her hands outward, it opened like a sliding door, only wide enough to let the twoin. Barely even turning her head, she flicked her wrist backwards, deflecting a curse back to the sender, the witch falling from her broom as the two stumbled into the inside of the grounds. The rope binding them sliced as Ad hastily closed Dumbledore's shield once more.
Harry originally thought the spell she used on the frozen wizard was merely 'Petrificus Totalus', however it proved much more powerful, much more vile, almost sickening, cruel, as Adeline snapped her fingers and the ice smashed, the Death Eater nowhere in sight, for his remains lay transfigured into ice, crumbled in pieces on the muddy ground.
><><
"I'm a monster."
She was chewing at her fingers: a newly developed habit—the reason her skin was so raw and so red around the nail beds. He touches her wrist; she stops. They sat alone but together in the common room, cross-legged by the fire as Adeline attempted to dry her hair, hand disappearing into her sleeve as she lowered it away from her mouth.
"Don't say that." He finally met her gaze, the wavering flames dancing in the glassiness of her eyes as she fiddled with the ends of her hair, its dribbling water seeping onto her fingertips. She shakes her head dismissively, staring into the fire, her voice quiet, trembling.
"Didn't you see, Harry? How easy it was? How easy it was to snap my fingers and, just like that, end his life?" Silence followed, but she didn't want an answer. She was still. "That's something Voldemort would do. That—that's something my monster would do. Something my mother would do. Harry, I can't—I can't do this anymore... I'm just becoming more like them every day. I don't even know how it happened. One minute I was walking with you and the next I couldn't—I couldn't control what I was doing anymore! I couldn't call out to you! I should—maybe I should just—"
"Just what?" His tone drew her eyes. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. "Just give yourself up? To him? After everything that's happened, you're just going to give up like that?"
Ad couldn't look at him anymore, bowing her head to the floor. It was easier that way, to say it without looking at him. To say what she needed to say so she could do what she needed to do. Her voice was a strangled whisper.
"I'm just putting you in danger by being around. If I leave, you—and everyone else—will be safe. Nothing but bad things have happened while I've been here."
"If you leave, Addie, we're all dead. What you're saying—it isn't true!" She looks back up to him.
"It is, Harry! Don't you remember what happened to Sirius?"
He averts his eyes and falls silent, and she knows she's said the wrong thing. Of course Harry remembers. It's all he can think about—he's had the whole of summer to just remember and remember and remember. And that entire time, he hasn't talked about it with anyone other than Addie. She's comforted him, she's cried with him, she's been dragged through it along with him.
Of course he remembers.
"I didn't lose him to you. I lost him to Voldemort. He's the cause of all this, not you. Not you. And I can't lose you, too. I think... I might die if you die." He sniffs, but a small bit of weight lifts from his heart, and suddenly, it's not as heavy. "I'll never get over it, not even when I'm forty and have kids of my own. And even if heaven is real... I can't wait all those years to see you again."
She did not expect this.
He's never said this before, but he's never really known it either, not until now, at least. And it's all true. He can't lose her, because if he does, he will, essentially, lose himself.
But the silence of thought was ruined as she started to cough. She coughed and coughed, heavy and throaty, into her hands: how you cough when something's stuck in your throat, when you can't stop and it feels like you can't breathe and you'll never breathe again.
When she stopped, there was relief. She's alright. It was just a cough, maybe she just swallowed a little weirdly. It's normal. She's okay. It's fine. Everything's fine.
But the blood on her hands told otherwise, and his heart, right there on the carpeted floor of the Gryffindor common room, got too heavy to hold it all.
It broke.
a/n:
ahh i hope you all liked the chapter!!
sorry it's late, but the holidays are soon (and so's my birthday!) so i'll be able to keep my updates more consistent.
oh yeah and apparently the quote at the v start of this book is from a Hamilton song & i had no idea (i saw it on pinterest don't @ me).
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