XIV

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Jennie Kim had never had a lover before. A lot of people who were far much more experienced than her in the field had backed down at the mention of distance. They were reluctant to continue their relationship once the threat of being separated by distance started to loom in.

So how could she have agreed to this relationship so easily?

She had heard many stories from many people in college. How they'd broken up with their high school sweetheart because they didn't want to risk it. Even though it had been said-and proven-that our generation had succeeded in bringing people closer with technology, it was still harder for us to accept being distanced from our loved ones.

Maybe it was just in our nature as human beings to crave that empirical evidence of such abstract emotions like longing and love. Our brain just might not have been made to grasp such concept without relying on our senses first.

After all, how could someone who had never seen colors in their life describe what the world looked like?

-

It was raining on the jet-black sky of the city. Jennie's curtains were opened and there were drops of water picturing the window. The pitter-patter of the water as it clashed with the glass was an odd yet familiar sounding music to her ears. A melancholic atmosphere then decided to join in with the symphony, making the song all the more tragically beautiful.

And it hit her out of nowhere.

She was staring at the screen of her phone as she talked about her day with Lisa one second, and the next she realized the heavy burden in her chest restricting her breathing. She was smiling as the girl made a joke and grinned at her widely, but a tear fell down her cheek without her knowing and her hand lifted instantly to catch it. A sob caught on her throat that her hand shot up to muffle on instinct, and she dropped the phone on her white sheets. Before she knew it one drop turned to two, and three, until she didn't even try to stop it anymore. She was crying harder than she had ever had before.

It was one of those moments when she was alone in her room, and the loneliness started to seep in. The difference now was that her heart and soul were craving for someone. And when her body couldn't give them what they wanted, it was a whole new world of sadness that she had never felt before. She was crying as if suddenly a river was going to form and bridge the distance that suddenly felt way too great. Her senses were lost, and all she knew and all she could feel were the tears falling down her cheeks and the sobs she was trying to contain. Her tears had blurred her vision and she could only see the colors and faint figures of things. She was alone, but somehow she didn't dare to make a sound. Only her muffled sobs that echoed on the walls filled the space. She tried so hard to keep it in, her chest was starting to hurt. She was starting to think that it was how a cardiac arrest was supposed to feel like-like her heart was squeezing and twisting, and pulling on every nerve and muscle it could. Until her sobs finally broke out and she was wheezing and gasping for every cubic of air in her room. The air then started to fill her lungs, but it didn't do anything to ease the scorching pain all over her skin. She pulled her body closer and hug them tight, but it wasn't the same. The sound that she was making was not hers. Her head felt like it wasn't getting enough oxygen and her body felt heavy. Her throat was starting to sore from all the half-screams.

Vaguely, she could hear Lisa asking her what was wrong.

What was wrong was that she was missing-no, she was craving for her presence here. She just wanted to hug her so tight and never let her go ever again, to feel her soft skin and that slender arms circle her waist and feel her soft breaths hitting her neck. She regretted leaving without her, without telling her how much she loved her.

infinity. // jenlisa.Where stories live. Discover now