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Today is the twins first birthday and I'm dreading it because I know Damien has to be there. I haven't seen or spoke to him since Aiden birthday and I like it this way. I have momma get the kids from him so I don't have to see him. He always texts me I never reply if it's not about the kids I don't need to speak to him. He going to learn to stop playing with my heart he better pray to all the gods that I don't move on. I'm going to make him work so fucking hard to get me back after all he wanted the divorce.

I kept the twins last night so I could wake up to the handsome faces. I love my sons so much they are everything to me I love all my kids they mean the world to me. Even though I can't stand Damien I'm happy he gave me my kids and he is an amazing father.

"Good morning my handsome birthday boys" I cooed to the twins. I can't believe they one already they grew so fast. I love my boys so much I love all my kids they mean the world to me. Even though I can't stand Damien right now I'm glad he is they father and I love him for giving me my kids. He is a amazing father that's one thing he could do correctly.

Of course my dad is throwing the twins their birthday party. He doesn't want me or Damien paying for any of the kids party. He said as they poppa he is supposed to do it. But I think it's guilt from him not always being at my birthday parties growing up. I always had huge parties and plenty of gifts but he wasn't there. At first I didn't really know because before he left for his trips he would always do stuff with me. But as I got older I notice him not being at any of my parties because he has business to handle. I was sad of course but my daddy always gave me everything I want he has never said no to me.

I hope Damien stays away from me today because I really don't feel like being bothered by him seriously. And if he come strolling in the party with his girlfriend Im going to be mad because if I did that he will lose his shit. He knows better he already pulled that dumbass shit at the club like I was more upset than jealous. If I really wanted to hurt Damien feelings I would move on and date another guy. But I want to give myself time to heal I don't want to rush anything because I hate to say it but it's the truth I still love Damien. I'm still in love with Damien and I don't want to confuse myself. So it's best I stay to myself until I'm ready to move on.

I felt my phone vibrating I was laying in the bed chilling with the twins. I already fed them breakfast we just lounging around until it's time to get them ready for the party.

I rolled my eyes as I read the text message.

Damien: can you send me a picture of the twins I miss them.


I sent Alexis a text message hoping she responds to me. I haven't seen or talked to her since Aiden party and I fucking hate it. I don't even know where to begin on where I messed up. I'm just a fucking failure I could never get it right with her. My heart beats for Alexis when I wake up she the first one on my mind. I can't even explain how much I love her. I'm still in love with Alexis but I thought I was doing the right thing by divorcing her. I thought wrong though everything has been going wrong. She don't even speak to me if it's not about the kids. I started messing with Zena because I was trying to fill in that void that I was missing. I miss my babygirl Alexis. But I know she definitely done with me after Aiden party.

I waited for about five minutes for Alexis to send the picture of the twins. I'm so happy she the mother of my kids.


I was so happy she sent me a picture of them

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I was so happy she sent me a picture of them. I thought for a minute she wasn't gonna send me a picture. I be texting her all the time she never replies she only replies if it's about the kids. Just being with my kids makes me so happy but I'm not fully happy because I'm missing the one thing that makes me whole.

And that's Alexis.

I laid down on the bed with Kalina. You know my princess stay under me she so damn attached to me.
It felt like I had just went to sleep and someone was ringing my damn doorbell. I carefully slid out of bed so I wouldn't wake Kalina. I grabbed my gun and headed to the door. No one called and said they was coming here so who the fuck could it be. I looked through the peep hole and it was Zena. I really don't even know why she here I haven't been fucking with her all week. I opened the door and she was just there she already getting on my nerves.

"What Zena? Why are you here?" I really didn't want to be bothered.

"Do I have to have a reason to come see my man?" I just looked at her because I didn't even really want to be with her anymore she annoying.

"What do you want?" I rather be laying down with my daughter.

"I miss you why haven't you been texting or calling me back baby?" She just walks in my house and I had to count to twenty because she about to piss me off. One I didn't invite her in and two if I haven't been hitting you back up it's obvious ion wanna be bothered.

"Cause I ain't feel like it now I'm busy you gotta go" She look hurt but I really don't give a fuck.

"What the fuck you mean you ain't feel like it I'm your girl and you don't look busy to me I'm not going no where." I just know she can't be talking to me like this. I'm trying to change I am but imma about to beat her ass.

"Bitch my daughter upstairs sleeping so calm your fucking voice down and ion know who hyped yo ass up today but you better think twice before you talk crazy to me again because I will beat yo ass. Now get the fuck out." I grabbed her arm and dragged her to the door.

"Get the fuck off me what the fuck is wrong with you. Why you treating me like this?" Here she go with the crying shit.

"Look to be honest you aggravating as hell and ion even want to be with you no more."

"What? Why?" This bitch just won't shut the fuck up and go.

"Get out I'm done explaining myself we are over it's no more of us. Good fucking bye" I slammed the door right in her face. I need to get my self together so I could be better for Alexis. That's if Alexis even wants me hopefully she do.

I went back upstairs to lay down with daughter. I ain't got no time for no bitch that's not Alexis and she not a bitch my babygirl a QUEEN.

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