Chapter Thirty Three

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Chapter Thirty Three

I wish I could fast forward to tomorrow and forget all the details of today. I woke up half an hour before my alarm would go off. It was the perfect compliment to my restless sleep of tossing and turning.

I stayed in bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before I got bored. Then I was accompanied by my instantiate thoughts that everything was going to go wrong and there was no point in getting up.

I wished my blanket would swallow me whole saving me a lot of grief from the inevitable. Why get dressed up and go to court just for everything to suddenly collapse underneath me?

There's no point. The universe has always pulled the rug out from under me at critical moments of my life. Things are finally coming into place and I'm worried it won't last.

Nothing gold can stay. The world is a cruel place, and I'm starting to think the 'Kick me' sign taped to my back hasn't come off yet.

I'm going into this case prepared for the worst to save myself from the devastation later.

Once my alarm rang for the 5th time I decided it was time to get up. I followed my morning routine sluggishly, not caring about anything in particular. I just went with the flow and it ended with me in my aunt's car driving towards the courthouse.

"Listen sweetie, I know you're nervous" A gross understatement, "but things are going to be ok."

"You don't know that for sure." I argue quietly playing with my hands in my lap.

"I don't know what's going to happen but that's not stopping me from going in there and kicking legal ass. We have a good shot Adira, and it's up to you to see the glass as half full or half empty."

"Life has taught me to be a pessimist."

"And now it's time to challenge those beliefs instead of blindly following them." She sighs and faces me fully. "It won't be easy, but not its impossible. Remember you have a support system and people who deeply care for you and are always willing to listen." She gives me a warm smile and with the concern written across her face she reminded me of what a mother figure should be.

"Thanks Aunt Ava, I'll keep that in mind." I smile reaching out to squeeze her hand. She gives me a sideways hug and a kiss on the forehead.

I froze momentarily and pulled away slightly. "Wait, did you say legal ass-kicking earlier?"

Her face was red at the cheeks and she hastily grabbed her purse, opening the car door in less than a second. "We really have to get moving."

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Inside the courthouse we met up with Edmon and Derric who were waiting by the door. I ran forward and greeted the latter first with a brief kiss. Aunt Ava broke off and went to find the attorney and check in on how things were doing last minute. I think she was just as nervous as I was.

"Thanks for coming guys." I say appreciate the gesture. They took time out of their day to come and support me.

"We're here for you." Derric reminds me.

"Still, it means a lot."

"We know." Edmon butts in jokingly with that goofy smile of his.

"Are you ok?" Derric asks me changing the subject abruptly. I nod my head automatically without thinking.

"Are you sure, because you look tired Adira. Did you have trouble sleeping last night?" He knows me too well. I thought I covered my bags with enough concealer but apparently not.

"I got a few hours." I defend myself. "That's not sufficient." He counters like it's going to make up for the sleep I lost.

"Did you have breakfast this morning? I have this-"

"Yes Derric! I'm not a child, I can take care of myself." I snap at him and his insistent condescending questions. He looked dejected as he steps back and puts his hands up in surrender.

"I wanted to help." I realized how unhinged I was acting. The stress was getting to me and I was lashing out on the wrong person.

"Derric, I'm sorry-"

"I'm just going to walk out before it gets awkward." Edmon quickly mentions before speeding off in the other direction. I don't blame him.

"I have so many thoughts and reservations about today and the closer it gets to the case the more frantic my mind becomes. Regardless, that's no excuse to snap at you, a person sincerely trying to help and I messed it all up."

"I understand you're scared, but you have to admit you have the tendency to push people away when you need them most."

"It's a force of habit." I shrug. This was the second time this was brought up today, that has to mean something. I put a pin in the thought for now and made mental notes to revisit it later.

"Well I'm going to be here every step of the way until we break this habit." He paused for a second before continuing. "I realized how that was phrased and just to clarify, I'll always be there whether you need a shoulder to cry on, a punching bag or just someone to listen."

"I'm not going anywhere Adira." Derric promised. His voice was unwavering and confident and the fact that he can be this confident for a relationship lasting a few weeks gave me hope.

"Good because I'm going to hold you to it." I warned him.

"I didn't expect anything less." He smiled, slowly leaning in for a kiss.

Someone cleared their throat in the background. Derric quickly kissed my cheek and pulled away looking red around the ears.

Aunt Ava was looking at us amused with her arms crossed. "Our case has been delayed a few hours so I thought you guys could go out and get something to eat."

"But we just ate." I protested.

"We can get ice cream, there's always room for ice cream." Edmon suggestions popping back into the conversation like he never left. It honestly scared the crap out of me.

"I don't know." I wasn't really convinced about what ice cream could do.

"Come on, waiting here for hours is going to drive us all crazy. Let's go for a walk at least." Derric recommends. I can see his argument and I still felt bad about before so I agreed.

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We ended up going for ice cream because the stress was making me hungry and the sight was too tempting. I was going to eat my worries with a sugary delicious treat served in a cone with extra sprinkled to lighten up my mood.

"I prefer to eat ice cream from a cone, it's the optimal experience." Derric argues with Edmon holding up his Neapolitan ice cream for reference. They've been going at it for the last couple of minutes and it was pretty entertaining.

"I disagree, the cone gets too soggy and leaks from the bottom."

"Have you ever heard of a napkin?"

"Why do I want to hold a bunch of napkins in order to enjoy my treat? Eating from a cone is a race against time, I have to keep eating it before it melts all over me."

"The cone provides the best soft and crunchy combo."

"I don't seem to be missing much." Edmon says taking a big spoonful of his Cookies & Cream ice cream to rub it in.

I listened to the debate walking in-between the boys eating my Rocky Road. After walking a few blocks I zoned their conversation out and focused on our surroundings and the ice cream in front of me. It was just me, empty thoughts and my second favorite ice cream.

"Adira. Adira?" A soft nudge jolted me out of my daze.

"What?"

"Are you ok, you've been quiet this whole time." Edmon points out.

"I had nothing to add." I say simply.

Derric held up his phone. "We have to be back at the courthouse, case starts in 10 minutes."

10 long minutes to go.

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