Worst Behavior

38. goodbye

[ 38. goodbye ]
J E O N G G U K

i just had to finish their story, and
i couldn't bring myself to leave you 
guys hanging so here it is: the end
of WORST BEHAVIOR

chapter song recommendations.

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"You're awake," Jeongguk doesn't expect to see his father standing by his door this early. Usually the man would already be driving to the church, fulfilling his duties as the pastor. They rarely see each other on the mornings except... for today.

"Chaeha told me about what happened," His dad clears his throat. Jeongguk nods, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. His dad sighs when he's met with silence and invites himself in without asking as Jeongguk's eyes trail after him.

"I'm glad it worked," Jeongguk blinks several times. He forces himself to hide the shock that tries to raise his eyebrows and widen his eyes, instead keeping his expression flat to avoid suspicion.

His mother must have lied like they have settled. A deal is a deal with a woman like his mother; she stays true to her word as long as he does his part. And by 'doing his part', it's pretending he's cured unless he wants to be thrown out into the streets.

No matter how unfair her ultimatum is, Jeongguk knows either way that he can't get what he wants. Taehyung is too out of reach, and even if they try to hold on, all they can do is brush their fingers against one another's fingertips.

So close, yet so, so far. Jeongguk can taste Taehyung on his tongue and also the hot, searing bitterness of bile in his throat. He's not sure if he's feeling sick because the reality is catching up to him, or because he has to lie to himself just for the sake of a home and a better future.

"M-me too," Jeongguk says, carefully choosing his words in his mind. His dad can barely look at him in the eye, but at least he's speaking to him. That's something.

"I can never forgive you f-for this nonsense," His dad stumbles over his words; not like his pastor-self who is known to speak smoothly. "But I'm glad you love this family enough to change who you are."

His words are another slap to the face. Harsh and quick, but the feeling lingers and digs deep beneath his skin. It stays there, and he knows he'll forever remember it: the leftovers of disappointment tangible on his cheek. Even though it's just words, words hurt. They hurt more than we want to admit.

"Yeah," Jeongguk breathes, and from the corner of his eye he can catch a glimpse of a shadow flitting
behind his curtain. It's Taehyung, obviously. He's probably wondering where he went.

"Promise never to disappoint me again?" His dad doesn't say it like a question. It's more of a command that Jeongguk has no choice but to follow.

Luckily it's only a year before he can leave.

"I promise," Jeongguk presses his lips together. With each second, it's harder to look his father in the eyes.

"Good," His dad pats his shoulder. It lasts no longer than a second before he recoils his hand back as if Jeongguk is the embodiment of sin and hell.

"Make me proud, son," His dad says, getting up from his bed. Never does he look in his direction again, and both of them know that it'll soon be their new normal.