A Home for Burnt Boys (*Currently writing*)

Chapter Ten - Filled with Emptiness

The week has gone in a bit of a haze. After the incident with Oakley and my punishment from Danielo, feelings of self-consciousness have overwhelmed me and I haven’t left my room for anything except food and my medication. Even though my low appetite kept me from enjoying the food, I ate just enough that I was not reprimanded.

Everyone thinks that I’m avoiding them, which I’m not, but I can’t seem to muster up the confidence to tell them the truth. That conversation can’t lead to anywhere good. I’ve decided that today I’m finally going to show them my scar. It saves me from the prolonged state of false security, at least this way they can kick me out and I can carry on my journey back home, to where Luna is.

We. No, I never got to bury her. Her body was torn to ashes and the place was so charred that the firemen couldn’t tell what was the desolate house and what was my mother. Martin didn’t want a funeral he said I needed to grow up and be a man, and that dwelling over ‘woeful things’ would not bring me any closer to it. I remember screaming. So loud, and for so long that when I finally stopped (after he conceded) I had to go to the hospital because my throat wouldn’t stop bleeding.

The funeral wasn’t very packed, as it only consisted of me, my father, some of his and Luna’s work colleagues. I wish I never kicked up such a fuss for it because it ended up making me feel even emptier, knowing that a bunch of random people were fawning over a woman they never loved like I did. I ended up having my own memorial of sorts. I played some of her favourite songs on the piano I brought with the inheritance she’d left me.

The younger boys have been pestering me to sleep with them, it has been very hard saying no especially to Oakley’s pouting but there would be a few problems with sleeping with them. 1 I have not been sleeping. 2 They would tell Viktor and Danielo that I have not been sleeping and they would kick up a fuss. And lastly 3 Oakley like his twin, is very clingy and would eventually discover my disgusting scar. But the last one won’t be a problem any more.

I climb down from the window cell and change into a hoodie and leggings. I walk over to the mirror opposite my bed and sigh at the wretched sight. My dark blonde mop is tangled into a bird nest and my cloudy grey eyes are overshadowed by the dark bags underneath them. I pull my hood up.

Ugly.

Empty.

Worthless.

I ball my hands up into a tight fist and slam it callously into the mirror. The glass shatters onto the floor beneath me. I close my eyes and clench my jaw.

An unpleasant pain erupts through my hand, but the deep sensations are overwhelmed but the emptiness and I push it down into the hole of dead emotions.

Footsteps rage outside in the hall and my door is barged through.

A head full of curly ginger hair fills my sight, “Ally.” He looks towards my hand with his sapphire blue eyes rimmed with worry. He rushes to my side. “Oh my God. A-are you ok? Did you punch the mirror? Y-you’re bleeding. Magnus!” He cries.

The auburn-haired man strolls into the room with a self-assured smirk on his face, “You want more already-” His smile drops when he sees me. I feel a tug on my heart strings. Why can’t I make anyone happy? He hurries over to us and examines the room before his two light orbs meet mine. “Are you ok, Alexander?” He asks seriously, his playful demeanour vanquished.

I ignore his question, placing my damaged hand on his cheek and stroking it softly. I feel a slight stub prickle my finger sending tingles through my hand making my lips twitch. But the tingles don’t last long as they get sucked into the black hole of feelings. “You’re so handsome.” I turn to Garnet and take his hand into mine, “And you’re delectable.”