Ineffably Oblivious ( Ineffable Husbands One-Shots )

Fallen Houseplants

Summary
If angels can fall,
So can houseplants.

And if Crowley is moving in...
The plants are coming with.

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Word Count: 1765

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Combined requests by: boof601 and LittleBatsTime

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"...Obviously, I don't mind you staying here until you find another flat, it's not imposing if you've known someone for six thousand years, dear," Aziraphale let out a small wheeze as he set down a particularly large plant beside the coffee maker in the back room, sitting up and placing his hands on his hips. He was quite thankful for the fact that he'd taken his jacket off for the work, wearing a white, long-sleeved under shirt along with his normal vest and pants, even if it didn't extinguish the heat from the labor, it certainly did help, "This is the last one then?"

Crowley nodded, dusting off his hands, in a similar outfit to Aziraphale's only with his own dark scheme of clothes, glasses perched on his head for the time being, "Should be." He nodded.

"Thank heavens." Aziraphale sighed, walking over to his couch and sitting down, snapping to miracle away the growing sweat on him,  "Remind me again, why we couldn't have just miracled them all here from your flat?"

"Don't thank those bastards- and they need to know the hardship of having their life uprooted, they can't just be snapped into a different location, they have to experience the pain that is waiting." Crowley sneered.

"Lovely." Aziraphale sniffed, "Why don't you come and sit for a bit? Dry yourself off." He offered with a pat on the couch cushion beside him, "You've been kicked out of your living arrangements and had to move all in one day, you quite deserve a break."

Crowley scoffed, "I'm not going to live somewhere where it's considered a disgrace," He used the word mockingly, "To own a pet snake- can you imagine?" He smirked, "Owning a snake as a pet? We're ferocious beings, angel, I'm telling you,"

"Of course, dear, of course." Aziraphale sighed.

"Not my fault the landlord came in while I was shedding. The nerve of some people, Angel, really, I don't know how you deal with so many humans in your shop all the time." Crowley grumbled.

"Well, I don't exactly enjoy their presence." Aziraphale sighed, "They just don't cherish books the way they should- and so many of them leave their children here as if it's my duty to look after them!"

"I'll scare 'em away next time they come, just watch." Crowley narrowed his eyes.

"Stop pretending like you don't adore children." Aziraphale rolled his eyes.

"It's not as if I adore them, I'm just not going to kill any." Crowley scoffed.

"Do come sit." Aziraphale beckoned the demon.

"Would love to, but I have to tend to these buggers." He shot glared at the plants that currently occupied multiple areas in the bookshop- there was a different one down every isle and then a few in the back room, "Don't think I won't raise my voice so all of you can hear me!" Crowley shouted around the room.

"Quieter." Aziraphale hissed.

"No can do, Angel, can't allow them to grow soft on me now, can I?" He kept his sharp gaze on the shaking leaves, "You hear that?" He raised his voice, "Don't think it'll be any different now that you're here! If I find even one impurity on any of you, I'll throw you in the-" He lowered his voice and turned to Aziraphale, "Do you happen to have a garbage disposal, Angel?"