The Marauders: Year Seven Part One

Playing For Seconds

"Bleedin' idiot," Sirius was muttering, his eyes stinging, fists balled with the effort to keep any tears from leaking out of his stupid eyes. "Probably a trap, probably dragging him back to Havmork right now... Never learn... Thick as porridge..." 

There was a touch on his shoulder and Sirius bucked, whirling about, and finding Remus, breathless, having come up behind to catch him up. "Whoa," Rey said, ducking Sirius's flailing arm of surprise, "Down, doggy."

Sirius's mouth set firmly. "It isn't funny, Remus."

Remus sighed, "I know it isn't funny, I know." He carefully measured his voice to be soothing. "Padfoot, I know it isn't funny, I'm just trying to lighten the mood... to make you feel better."

"Well, I don't," Sirius grumbled, looking down at the ground with a perturbed stare.

Remus rubbed Sirius's shoulders and ducked to try and look Sirius in the eye. "Hey," he said, "Listen to me." Sirius looked up and their eyes locked. "I know you've been through a lot with your family and that Regulus... well, Regulus is a very touchy subject. I know that. And I know that as much as you'd never admit it that the way your mum and dad were toward Regulus made you jealous --"

"Jealous!" Sirius started, but Remus motioned for him to calm and hear him out.

"--made you jealous, because they doted over him and made him out to be the perfect son at exactly the same time as they were mistreating and disowning you." Remus stared into Sirius's scowling face. "But Regulus can't be blamed for what your mum and dad did."

Sirius said, "No but he can be blamed for what he has done... and that's a whole load of evil, working for You-Know-Who."

Remus shrugged. "He's done some good, too, though, Padfoot. He helped us rescue James last year. We never would've found Havmork without Regulus."

"I s'pose," Sirius ceded.

"And do you honestly think that Maryrose would be with someone evil?" Remus questioned, "Sweet little Maryrose?"

"Who knows," Sirius muttered, "Who knows anymore what anyone could justify in their minds these days?"

Remus said, "He's in the Order."

"Which we haven't even held a meeting of in ages," Sirius replied, shrugging. "What good's a bloody dark-defying Order if we don't even meet up and discuss the dark rubbish we're trying to defy? What good's it if we don't even defy anything?"

"I mean, we can hold a meeting, Sirius, it's us who needs to call it, isn't it?"

Sirius shrugged. He stared down at the ground, at the toes of his boots.

Remus reached over and pushed a loose strand of Sirius's hair over his ear as it had fallen out of the knot at the back of his head. He drew a deep breath, tracing his fingers gently along Sirius's jawline and lifting his chin carefully with two fingertips. "You know that James still is your best friend, don't you?"

Sirius's mouth twitched at the corner.

"Whatever time he spends with Lily Evans instead of us has no impact on whether you're his best mate or not, Sirius. It doesn't change a bloody thing, nothing could," Remus smiled, "Everyone knows that even I am only playing for seconds against your brotherhood with James Potter, love."

Sirius's eyes were burning again and he rolled them up to avoid Remus's gaze and turned, his throat tight. 

"James Potter loves you so bleedin' much, and you him," Remus said, "He's just in love, Padfoot, and it's new and it's exciting and he's distracted a bit, but he isn't going anywhere, no more than you were when we first started going together."