matty healy, falling in love over night

telling about lost friends

21st of april- lia's birthday

today was a day that non of us wanted to face, it didn't get any easier as the years went by and this year wasn't an exception.

i'd talked to lewis and kian a couple days ago about this and they both told me it was okay for me to still be hurting. and i knew they were right and i had a valid reason ... but i felt selfish. i had it all, the beautiful house, rose, matty, my best friends, i had the perfect life so why should i be unhappy?

it was more than lia got.

i lay in bed thinking about lia and what kian has said to me

"you have to hurt gracey, it doesn't leave just because you have all of this great stuff in your life, it's still present and an issue, don't suppress it, let it tear you apart and share that hurt with people, tell them who lia was and what she meant to you. i know you grace and until your done hurting it will never leave"

those are the words kin told me, i feel then etched on my soul because he's right, death doesn't give a shit about where i live or who i love, it claimed my best friend and it will always be there, at parties, when there's an empty seat at meals, birthdays, christmas, it will always be there. the space where lia should be.

9am - 21st of april

matty finally woke, i'd been awake for ages, going over memories in my mind and the times she never got.

"morning" matty said kissing my cool lips with his warm ones

"hey" i mumbled rubbing my eyes, i didn't move, i didn't want to leave the bed

"been awake long?" he asked, a slight smile spread across my lips

"how did you?"

"i dunno i guess i just know you" he whispered

"i don't wanna leave the bed today matty" i told him, he nodded

"we could do that or we could do something else?" he said

"like what?"

"well me and george had a day planned, all lias favourite places and places she would want us to go" he told me

"you guys did all that?" i asked

"of course, he's still hurting too, you need this day to really be at peace"

i let everything he said wash over me, i didn't want to leave the bed let alone the house today but he had put both my feelings and george's before the misery. i really loved him.

"i'll get up then" i groaned

"it's gonna be okay" he said once i had gotten out of bed and was facing the white wall. i closed my eyes and placed my hand over my chest where i could feel my heart going mental

"i know" i whispered not trusting myself to turn around or open my eyes

matty appeared behind me, his arms draping around me, he rested his head on my shoulder as i stood with my eyes still closed and the water filling them

"it will be okay" he said once more

i believed him.

1 hour later

we were ready and about to leave, i had thrown some super skinny black jeans on with black chelsea boots and a black nike crop top. matty was wearing black jeans, black chelsea boots and a adidas black t-shirt. we matched in a weird sorta nice way.

i was strapping rose into her car seat when george came behind me

"heya" he mumbled

"hi george" i said continuing to fasten roses seatbelt