Life as i Didn't Know it

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Marissa’s POV

I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror, what should I do? I cried for about one minute before I decided to get a hold of myself, I wasn’t the type to give up and just let things happen. Should I tell Zane what’s happening? And was Kyle ever really my friend? Did john simply feel sorry for me? and what was going to happen to me and Alex is I went away for two years. I would miss out on the one amazing guy I could possibly have a life with. I didn’t want to give up everything here, and when I made that promise at the beginning I thought it was simply for training. I have the right to choose my own fate, he cant do that too me! the more I think of it the more I wonder, what am I going to do with my life anyway? I'm graduating this year and I have to apply for collages, I’m smart and all but what do I have a passion for? It’s not like I'm ever going to be alpha female or anything.

“Marissa?” my mom called softly through the door. Kyle probably told her I was crying. I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was dishelved, my makeup ran down my face along with the tears and my eyes were as red as my face. I masked my face before opening the door. My mother had a worried look on her face as she took me in. “Oh honey what’s wrong?” she gently pushed my back into my room and closed the door behind us. I walked over and sat on the bed as she stood and looked at me.

“What happened? Kyle came to me and told me you were in your room crying and to come and check on you” she said with worry clearly coating her voice. I guess he knew I wouldn’t want to see him right now, my mom was the one person I couldn’t blame for any of this. She was here when I needed her most of the time and I understand she has to go away and everything. “Well it’s a long story and I just found out” I spoke,  my voice was mostly calm but cracked in some places. “it’s ok baby we can get through this together” she soothed. I cleared my throat and began to tell her everything. And by that I mean everything I’ve kept hidden and bottled up. About my mate, about john, about Kyle, about my brother, I told her everything that I’ve delt with myself and it felt good to be able to share this with someone.

“I'm so sorry. I haven’t been here for you and this is my fault. If I would have been home then I could have helped, you weren’t meant to have to deal with all of this on your own” she sobbed out. she pulled me into a hug as tears streamed down her face, I know she feels guilty right now. she feels like she wasn’t being a parent to me but I don’t blame her for anything. She did her job of raising me and when my dad died the also had to keep up the financial part of it too. my mother may not have been home with me but she did take care of me.

“It’s not your fault mom and it’s ok. I’ve managed ok and now I’ve got Derek with me. I just need to get through this one final thing. And you’re here now that’s all that matters” I spoke to her. I pushed my feelings aside and made room for hers, it was easy to see how much this didn’t only affect me but also her.

“You know what? You’re going to enjoy your birthday. I'm not going to let something so easily ruin your day baby. You told me you didn’t want a party so I didn’t throw you a party but I did invite some friends of yours over for later which will happen after you come back with Dustin. You’re going to go out with him tonight and forget all your problems, you’re not going to let anything ruin your perfect day. I know this because I know you. So be strong and we can deal with this later.” I smiled at my mom; she always knew what to say to me. I nodded and smiled at her, she was right. The day went so well so far and I was eighteen now. I had nothing to be sad about. I had one week, ne week to live my life and have fun, but I also had one week to fight it. One week was not one day so I could have my day today.

“Thanks mom” I hugged her and she nodded. “I'm going to leave you to get ready, when you’ve cleaned up then come down stairs and I’ll give you the birthday present I got for you” and with that she got up and left, closing the door softly behind her.