Dear Camila (Camila/you)

Chapter 10

A/N - Two parts turned into three... then into four.....

Just enjoy this shit storm... or not...IDK....*opens wine*

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I had to know.

I had to know the truth.

I had to know exactly what was going on.

I had to know every grisly detail even if it would break me down and eventually kill me.

I needed to know.

Camila sure as hell wasn't going to tell me, so I had to find out for myself.

I stared at Shawn for what felt like hours, but it was in reality minutes. My thoughts were interrupted when Nick tapped me on the shoulders.

"Hey Y/N you okay? You look lost in your thoughts?" he rubbed my back slightly not removing his hand.

"Ugh yeah" my voice came out weak. I cleared my throat to clear the dryness that had developed from the hurt that was creeping up my throat and draining every emotion from me.

"Um yeah sorry, I am just going to get another drink" I pointed to my glass, that was still full of my rum and coke.

Nick furrowed his eyebrows.

I picked up the glass and downed the drink and slammed the glass back down on the table.

"Be right back" I stood up and made my way to the bar, I needed a drink before I did what I was planning to do.

I ordered two tequilas and a doubler rum and coke with a vodka chaser. Suddenly I needed liquid courage. I also hoped the alcohol would make me pass out and I wake up and this was all a dream. I drunk them all in quick succession.

I knew it wouldn't be enough to get me drunk, but the burn from the alcohol distracted me from the agony that I was currently feeling in my chest.

I stared at the empty shot glasses debating to go through with what I was planning in my head. Or do I just go back to the hotel and go to sleep and forget everything that I know.

I mean what do I know?

I know that she is lying to me.

I just don't know why.

But if I find out why, what if it's what ends us, did I want that to happen.

Did I want to lose her?

I stood there internally debating what to do.

If I wanted to get to the bottom, I may find out something that means there will no longer me a Camila and I.

Or I forget everything I know and carrying on as we have. It wouldn't be perfect, it wouldn't be happiness.

But I would still have her in some form.

I ordered another vodka.

I sipped this one.

My tongue licked my lips, to get any remaining alcohol into my system.

I couldn't live a lie. I needed to know.

I sought out Shawn who was still hanging with some friends and sipping on his drink, the guy couldn't drink in the US so he could never handle in the UK. Camila and I had met up with him many many times over the last 4 years. They were best friends. They had been best friends for a few months before we met and Shawn had always been a big supportive of our relationship.