Bullets & Bandages

9

As the weeks rolled on and my stomach swelled and my residency intensified, I felt myself slowing considerably. The twelve hour shifts were wearing me down and being in surgery the other half of my day was exhausting. Thankfully, I wasn't performing any surgeries. Assisting was far easier than leading. Still, I was tired and it was showing in my bedside manner. I had always prided myself in being a compassionate doctor, but my patience had reached an end. I couldn't stand people that came into the ER with a little cough or cold. Whereas before I would keep my comments to myself, I was rather vocal. I didn't hesitate to tell a patient that they were not sick enough for the ER and to take ibuprofen and rest.

It was shitty of me and I was trying to reign it in.

My pelvis and lower back had been killing me for weeks. The added pressure from the baby gave me a new perspective for the pain expectant mothers went through.

Giovanni attended an appointment with me and he was supposed to go to the big anatomy scan to find out the gender of the baby. I hadn't heard from him, but I assumed he was going to be there. He said he wanted to be involved. He pushed for me to keep the baby. I wasn't sure if he left me alone because of his girlfriend or if it was what he thought I wanted.

I didn't want space from him though. I wanted him to dump his girlfriend and come running back to me though I knew that was ridiculous of me. Fucking hormones.

I eased into my seat behind my desk and let out a sigh of relief. I had invested in a high end, insanely padded chair and a fancy new couch for my office. I usually spent my lunch or couple hours between shifts napping in my office and I wasn't about to sleep on my dinky old couch. If I had to be pregnant, I was going to be as comfortable as possible.

I checked my phone to see a missed call from my mother. I sighed, knowing I had been avoiding her since I found out I was pregnant. I still didn't know how to tell them I was pregnant and I was not going to marry Giovanni. I didn't know if I was going to explain our relationship or just say he was a one night stand and leave it at that. I had been able to hide my pregnancy at the Christmas party, but I wasn't going to be able to hide it any longer. I was firmly showing and I couldn't brush it off as weight gain.

I swallowed hard and pressed the phone to my ear, waiting for my mother to answer.

"Hello, Aria," she greeted.

"Hi, mom. You called?"

"We haven't talked since Christmas," she chided. "How are things?"

I pulled the phone away and sighed, rubbing my face.

"Look, Mom, there's something I need to tell you."

"It wouldn't happen to be that you're pregnant, would it?"

Fucking well connected doctors.

"Twenty-four weeks," I mumbled.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

She actually sounded hurt I hadn't told her. I loved my mother and I knew she loved me, but we were never exactly close. I didn't realize she would be hurt by my not telling her.

"I'm sorry. I just . . . I didn't want you and Dad to be disappointed and I wasn't even sure if I was keeping it."

"Excuse me?" She demanded. "Not keeping it?"

"I thought about adoption," I clarified. "But the father wants to be involved so I'm keeping the baby."

"And who exactly is the father, Aria? God, please tell me you know who the father is," she breathed.