take a picture of all my flaws

10

Lauren

It feels like both the longest and the shortest drive of her life.

She knows she probably shouldn't have driven here; a flight would've been safer, but she couldn't stand the idea of getting photographed at the airport when she's in this kind of state. Her tears blur her vision, and her car seems like it's going five miles per hour, no matter how fast she pushes it, how far she drives. She doesn't feel any further away from Camila.

She doesn't know how she gets to Lucy's in one piece. One minute, she's throwing a bag into her car and driving away from her apartment, and the next, she's pulling up in a parking space in Lucy's building's parking garage, sprinting to the elevators and hammering on the door of the older girl's apartment.

When she opens it, Lucy pulls her into a hug, and she's surprised when a third person joins them. Not caring, crying into Lucy's shoulder, she tries to ignore how sick she feels, but she's honestly scared she's going to throw up.

"Not sure why we're hugging like this, but hey," she finally identifies Vero's voice, and when she pulls out of the hug, she basically throws herself onto the other girl. "Whoa, okay, are you alright?"

She shakes her head, and she feels Lucy rub comforting circles into her back before she pries her bag away from her and takes it somewhere; Lauren doesn't care where, all she can think about is how hurt and just plain angry she feels.

She lets go of Vero, but she sends her a comforting smile. "Hey, talk to me. What's up?"

"I- I just- I don't..." Lauren struggles to get the words out, and she can already feel her throat closing over and the anxiety building in her chest. "Something- something bad..."

"Come on, we'll go sit down," Vero takes her hand and leads her over to the couch, and everything already feels so fuzzy, like she's being held underwater and she can't breathe. She curls up in a ball on the end of the couch, trying to focus on just breathing, not how Camila had lied, how Camila will tell everyone that she's ungrateful, that she hates her fans, when she doesn't, she just hates the ones who hurt her, the ones who made her like this.

She's choking on her own breath before she knows it, crying into her hands, and she doesn't know if it's Lucy or Vero or both of them holding her, she just knows that she appreciates it, that it helps, that it wraps her up in a safe little bubble and helps her breathe.

She doesn't know how long it takes for her to calm down, and she's not absorbing whatever Lucy and Vero are saying, just focuses on how numb she feels as Lucy rubs her arm comfortingly.

"What happened?" Lucy asks. "You know you shouldn't have driven here like this, you could've gotten yourself killed-"

"Babe, leave that for when she's calmed down," Vero cuts her off, "did something happen up at college?"

Lauren feels sick at the thought, and she somehow manages to form a word, "Camila..."      

Vero looks totally baffled by the name, because she has no idea who Camila is. Lucy whispers something to her, and Vero lets out an ah in understanding, before she turns to Lauren and takes her hand. "What happened with Camila, Lo?"

"She- she lied," Lauren forces out, trying to push past the anger and betrayal that's almost pushing her over the edge into panic again. "She knew the whole time, about the show. She fucking lied."

Lucy is one of her best friends, and one of the specific reasons for that is because she never coddles her. Even if Lauren is upset, she tells her how it is, and of course this is no exception. It's just the one time Lauren doesn't appreciate it.