JU4.

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Giselle Love|Juicy.

         "Get off me, Juicy

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"Get off me, Juicy." my mama said as I laid my head on her lap.

"I'm sleepy." I mumbled getting under her covers.

"Girl I don't know why the hell you getting comfortable, Juicy I'm not playing with you." she said as I laid on my stomach, the only way I can fall asleep. "Giselle."

"Yes?" I mumbled with my eyes still closed.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked me making me open my eyes and look at the tv that played I Can Do Bad All By Myself.

"I'm on my period and I just wanna be babied, I miss my daddy." I said closing my eyes back.

"Girl call his ass then, the fuck?" I chuckled as she put her hands in my hair and began massaging my scalp.

"I did." I said enjoying her playing in my hair.

"He didn't answer?"

"No." I said softly.

"He'll call back." she said.

"I hope so." I mumbled yawning.

My dad was well and living in California with his wife, our relationship was okay, it could better but it also could be worse. My parents never got married, my mom being twenty-one when she had me and my dad being twenty-four, they were together for years until they broke up. When they broke up it seemed like he broke up with me too, leaving and moving to California leaving me and my mother here in Florida.

"I'm gonna go cook dinner, get some rest." she said getting out the bed and pulling the cover off me some, knowing that I hated for my whole body to be under the cover.

"Okay." I said lowly.

I woke up to my phone ringing, still laying in my mamas bed, with her beside my sleeping I let my eyes adjust to the light seeing it saying my dad was calling. I got out of the bed quickly answering and going to my own room.

"Hey daddy." I smiled putting the phone to my ear.

"Hey baby girl, sorry I missed your call. I was taking Alice and the boys shopping, their homecoming is coming up." he told me making me roll my eyes.

"It's okay, at least you called back this time." I said making it get awkwardly quiet.

"So how's school? It's your senior year now." the smile came back on my face.

"I know I'm so excited. I got all my set classes and I only have four so I'm only at school for a few hours and I'm so happy about that, I love all my teac-"

"Hold on baby girl, I'll be right back. Alice needs me." my smile dropped again as the line was overcome with silence. I got up from white chair that went to my vanity and left my room, remembering my mom cooked dinner, I went to the kitchen.

Still on hold, I put the phone on speaker and placed it on the counter as I opened the microwave seeing a plate wrapped in tinfoil. I smiled taking it out and unwrapping it seeing oxtails, I happily placed it back into the microwave to warm it up.

By the time it had heated up, my dad still wasn't back, but I didn't hang up I ate my food in silence waiting for him to come back.

I'd finished my food and he still hadn't come back to the phone, making me sigh and hang up. This is exactly what I be talking about, Alice has him by a leash whatever she says do he does. Alice and her two sons, George and Eric, ran my dads life. Rolling my eyes I washed my dish out and went upstairs to my room, FaceTiming Jania.

"I'm surprised to see you up this late grandma." she said eating a popsicle. "You okay?"

"I'm annoyed and I feel like crying." the Scorpio in me wants to throw things and be angry but the person I am just wants to ball up and cry.

It's so annoying constantly feeling like you're being pushed to the side and like you're the last priority, and that's exactly how I feel.

"What's wrong, Juicy?"

"I'm just so frustrated and irritated with everything, I hate feeling like I'm in last place and it's like even though I know I am I don't need to be constantly reminded." I said trying to stop myself from crying.

"Your dad?" I nodded. "It's alright babe, what happened?"

"I called him earlier and he missed my call and I was upset and then he just called me back and had me on hold for almost thirty minutes because he had to go tend to Alice." I explained. "Like damn you see her everyday, you talk to her everyday can you remember the last time you seen or talked to me? Your actual blood child. Like am I not good enough? What did I do wrong?"

"Juicy I keep telling you that you cannot force this type of thing, you can't make him want to be there. Yes he loves you and I know you love him too baby but at some point you just have to let things like this go because it's affecting how you see yourself and your well being, and nothing is that important." she said. "I know you love him and he loves you too, I know he does. But you can't force someone to be in your life, it just doesn't work that way, and when he realizes what a beautiful person he's lost he's gonna be the one upset, not you. You have to learn to let things go, Juicy, you can't always save situations and people, as much as you think you can."

"I know but-"

"No buts Juicy, stop putting yourself through this babe." she told me. "Tomorrow I'll come over after you leave work, okay."

"No tomorrow's your date with Marcus."

"Marco bitch and it's okay, he can wait."

"No, no. We can go, I'm fine. You can just spend the night afterwards." I said wiping my face.

"Are you sure Juicy? Because fuck that nigga." she said.

"I'm positive."

Sometimes it's better to not dwell on things.

hey yalllllll

Q7: what's your favorite animal?

Q8: would you rather be a ant or a tree?

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