Sex Education • Ashton Irwin

eighteen - canoodling and stuff

I knew exactly what was coming today and was dreading every moment of it. 

When I got home last night, I couldn't help but feel awful about what had happened with Luke at his party, feeling that perhaps I overreacted just because I was somewhat mad at Ashton. I decided to agree to that double date thing that Luke had signed us up for, dumbly, although from Luke's simple reply of 'ok cool', I can't help but think that I may have upset Luke even though I hadn't meant to. 

Luke told me to wear something really casual, which made me worried - since I assumed we would be going to be awkward around a dinner table for lunch. Clearly not. This is Luke we're talking about, he could have literally anything planned for today - causing me to feel anxious all morning as I stand by the door waiting for him to pick me up and explain what is going on.

After mine and Ashton's talk last night, I knew that having to see him and Mindy together was going to be hard - although, I have to stick with my plan not to hurt anybody and for now, giving Ashton and myself space is exactly what we need. I know that in my mind I'm trying to be calm about this whole situation, but let's be real here - if I see Mindy and Ashton have any close contact I will probably lose my shit.

 I spot Luke driving a cream mini outside of my house, wondering why he had such a femine taste in cars - since it's the type of car I was planning on getting once my parents finally let me get a car of my own. I rush out of the door, anxiously walking over to Luke's car. I was pretty nervous to even see him after last night, wondering if he's still mad at me or if he saw me disappear with Ashton last night. I clearly would have a lot of explain to do, although I was unsure of my actions last night in my own mind - I had no explaination.

I walk to the passenger side of the car and pull the door open, greeting Luke with an awkward smile. He returns the crooked grin, before starting the car and beginning to drive without speaking a word. I look over to him every few moments, expecting him to eventually say something. Luke was never a moody person, in fact a quality I like about him is that he always has the ability to put a light hearted spin on a dull mood - which he was not doing right now.

I decide to take matters into my own hands. "So, I didn't know you had a car."

Luke lets out a sigh as his face remains blank and expressionless. "I don't. This is my mom's."

Another silence falls upon us as I wonder what to say to struggle out of this awkwardness. It's that situation where you wish there was something to talk about to not make this awkward, but I had no clue what to say - which made everything seem even worse. I hated Luke giving me the cold shoulder,  even though I definitely deserve it.

Reluctantly, since I could not survive the next however long in this silence, I speak up. "Are you still mad at me?"

I look over to Luke, as he rolls his eyes and ignores my question. I begin to feel awfully guilty, especially since Luke has been nothing but nice to me and I had to ruin all of this because I was angry over a guy who has been nothing but awful towards me - with the exception of some good. 

"Look, Luke," I sigh, slouching in my chair, "I know that I was a complete bitch last night and I'm sorry. I just needed to get some air or something."

Luke hits the pedal at the red light, slowly looking over to me as we stop. I look to his eyes for any clues to how he was feeling, although his electronic blue eyes gave nothing away. He just chews on his lip ring slowly, as if he was analyzing everything I had said as he watches me. His gaze pulls away as the light turns green again, leaving me hanging for an answer.

"By 'get some air', do you mean you needed assurance from Ashton that him and Mindy aren't back together?" Luke questions dryly, his voice staying steady and chilling.