Borderline

Three

   I grabbed the first duffel bag off my desk and set it on my bed. I unzipped it and examined the contents, this one only had clothes. My sister must have packed for me, it actually contained the clothes I wear. I started with my shirts, folding the random ones and hanging up the nicer ones. Each shirt I pulled out reminded me of home. Sometimes I would stop and smell one, it smelled strongly of the detergent my mom had used for years. I had managed to get through all my clothes and had moved on to my next bad, which contained an array of hygiene products, when there was a knock on my open door. I turned at the noise and found myself looking at a girl. She had brown hair down to her shoulders and a fringe.

   "Hey, I'm Sophia." Sophia wore a baggy sweater and leggings that stuck to her tiny legs. she looked like if you shook her hand too hard you'd break her. I set whatever was in my hands down and approached her. I immediately felt like I weighed 700 pounds standing in front of her.  

   "I'm Margo." I managed a small smile. Sophia leaned against my door frame.

   "Oh I knew that," She pointed to something outside my door. I peered my head out the door and saw a small whiteboard with my name written neatly on it. "All the rooms have one. I sounded creepy at first. Sorry." She smiled at me. "Can I come in?" 

   "Uh, sure. Why not?" As soon as I spoke she walked past me and sat on the chair by my desk. I returned to my bed, which was covered in different hygiene products. "You really came prepared, huh? Were you a scheduled admit?"   

   "No, I, um came from the emergency room. My sister packed all this for me." I wasn't looking at her anymore. "This isn't my first time in a place like this."

   "Oh, so you've been to residential before?" I swung my entire body around and locked eyes with her.

   "Excuse me, what did you just say?"

   "Did you not know? This is a residential unit. I've been here about a month. It seems they told your family. They packed quite a bit for you." She motioned to the two empty bags and the two unopened bags still sitting on my desk. "Sorry I had to be the one to tell you." 

   "Why are you here?" I was still staring at her. She leaned back in the chair.

   "I have an eating disorder, anorexia. I came in at 90 pounds," she looked away from me, "I'm 105 pounds now. They say I'm still underweight, that I need to keep gaining but it's not as easy as it sounds you know?" She looks up at me, "I'm terrified of food." She stood and shook her head. "When I came in I was tubed, I had a really low BMI but BMI is bullshit anyway." When she stood by me she was noticeably taller than me, I would say 5 foot 6. I frantically tried doing the math in my head. "But enough about me," she walked to the other side of my bed and examined the different products I had laying out, "would you like some help settling in? Also, I should mention, I'm your next door neighbor."

  "Uh, yeah that'd be nice." I grabbed another bag and began taking out it's contents. Sophia propped the bathroom door open and started putting away various things. I watched her movements, graceful and precise and looked down at my own hands fumbling with different objects. I was envious of her. We had to be friends. 

...

   About an hour into Sophia and I setting up my room everyone was called to group. I hesitated to leave my room but Sophia assured me group would be fine, so I went. She showed me to a large room filled with couches and comfortable chairs. She sat on one of the couches next to a boy, I sat in one of the chairs next to the couch. As everyone filed in I examined the room taking in every face I saw. Everyone seemed to be in about the same age range, which for some reason made me feel more and less anxious at the same time. Once everyone was in the room a lady, who didn't look much older than any of us, walked in and closed the doors. She sat in an empty chair and addressed the room. "Hello everyone. Most of you already know who I am, but if you don't my name is Mali, I'm one of the social workers here at Lake Oak but I specifically work on Willow Unit. How is everyone?" The room was filled with unintelligible answered and Mali frowned. She shrugged off her yellow cardigan and set her clipboard in her lap. "Why don't we go around the room one by one, sounds easier." She clicked her pen and looked up. "Alright, who's first?" The room was silent. "Or, I can just pick someone to go first?" She looked down at her clipboard.