36 Constellations

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Iris~~

When I find Jonas outside my door, blankets draped over an arm and a cardboard take out box in a hand, it's after I've had a thirty-minute freak-out sesh.

"I'm so sorry about my brother."

"There's no way to get out of it?"

He shakes his head. It's almost imperceptible. "I've already spoken with him."

This isn't going back to the viewing room where Jonas passed out on me. This is going into the ceremony chamber. The place where the Society members who know Expiration Dates will be. Jonas thought I'd be all right at Erik's, but now that I know what's below the Society, I'm terrified.

By the look on Jonas's face, I know he sees the fear on mine. He survives the ceremonies though. He's still standing—alive. There has to be a way then to safely make it through.

"Care for an adventure?"

I take the box from his hand, trying to steel my nerves. "If there are brownies in this box, then I'll follow you anywhere."

He laughs. "Then I'm glad I can say there are in fact brownies in that box."

******

Jonas takes me up to the rooftop. There are spots where warm light shines through the roof, and Jonas explains that most of the roof has a top layer that can be moved back so the stars can shine in. Those on the top floor can sleep under the stars. The idea seems too lovely for the Society.

I help him lay out one of the blankets, and he sets the box of brownies between us. We use the two remaining blankets to wrap around ourselves because of the light wind. Closing my eyes, I listen to the rustle of the trees and let the wind brush my face.

"I love this," I say.

"Calming, isn't it?"

"Yes." I open my eyes to find him looking at me. My cheeks warm against the cool wind, and I divert my gaze. The mountains around us appear as black shadows, as if they could be whatever sort of majestic thing they wish.

"For the ceremony, keep your head down. You can't look up. Do you understand?"

I pull my knees to my chest. "No. Jonas, this seems like it has to do with something more than only respect."

He sighs, his finger tapping against the side of the box. "It's about not drawing attention to yourself. If they notice you, it won't be hard for them to figure out your Expiration Date."

"Why did you bring me down there if you knew it was dangerous?"

His tapping stops. "Being Expired you're treated like glass by the people who know. You can't make any decisions because suddenly they think you don't know what's best for you. You don't look any different or even physically feel different, but you're breakable. In danger of your death that's around every corner. Half of the time it's like you aren't even allowed to talk for yourself. Isn't that how it is with Erik? It's how my parents treat me."

I pick at a corner of my blanket. Erik placed himself in charge to keep me safe. Safe so I can help him . . . safe so he can use me. I nod. "He calls me my dear. I don't know why it bothers me so much. Maybe because it's not tender in the way you'd want someone to say it to you. It's always seemed like he's mocking me." Running my finger over the soft threads of the blanket, I let my shoulders hunch forward. "You called me love once and even though you laughed afterwards—forget it."

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