Review by Maryam: Last Man Standing

63 5 8
                                    

Title: Dayao: Last Man Standing

Author: neomanuisarang

Reviewer: Marykhah77


Summary: 4.5/5

I'll start off by saying that the summary is really well written. It introduces the character without going too in-depth. The only issue I have with your summary is the fact that the world wasn't identified. I know that there are kingdoms across this world, but what is the world? Other than that, your summary is pretty spot-on.


Grammar + Punctuation: 3/5

The grammar and punctuation, from what I could tell, was pretty cleared. However, I did pick up on misuses of semi-colons, colons, and capitalization. Let's look at examples:

After another long moment, she said,

"They're going to make me marry soon."

In this example, you should've used a colon since you skipped a line.

After another long moment, she said: 

"They're going to make me marry soon."

Let's look at another example:

The older of the Princes looked at his brother: a pure soul who had done no wrong except to be born of the Queen and thus laid claim on the court's approval as his birthright.

In this example, you did use a colon, just not in the correct way. A colon means "that is to say" or "here's what I mean." They are not to be used instead of semi-colons.

This is the format I use to whenever I write with colons. Feel free to use it. 

(Introduction): (List)

Colons usually are used to list things. Semi-colons are used to join two related sentences or to separate items in a series that have commas.

Here's the format I use when using semi-colons. Feel free to use it. 

(Introduction/Idea); (Why/Explanation)

Now, let's talk about capitalizations. You capitalized the characters names and areas of your world, but you didn't capitalize titles. Let's look at what I mean:

"Her highness, Princess Dayao, has arrived"

When writing, make sure to capitalize titles like Your Highness, Your Grace, Your Majesty, Your Majesties, etc. These are all nouns, so be sure to capitalize them.

Now, let's look at the common mistakes a writer does. 

I'll be very blunt in this section because you can pick up quite easily here.

Forwards should be forward

Towards should be toward

Alright should be all right (Alright is a slang word, but all right is more formal and correct to use when writing). 

Afterwards should be afterward

Backwards should be backward. 

Anyways should be anyway.

I think that should be it, but knowing me, I probably missed one or two.

[actually, though, quick note from Sunshine: I kind of disagree with these points above, but that's because I spell using UK English. I've found that, with words such as 'toward/towards', US English uses 'toward', whereas UK English uses 'towards'. So, it doesn't really matter which one you use - just make sure it is consistent.

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