45 | Blackout

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Chapter 45: Blackout

I was losing my head. Jake Dawson asked me on a date.

And Luke Dawson wanted to kill me for it.

I tried not to think about Luke, but people kept saying his name.  He's hard to escape.  I felt like Luke hurt me.  We had shared sensitive moments together.  I know we never kissed but I'm not oblivious.  Almost-kisses count.  The almost-romantic conversations count. 

The there's no quitting us and the I'll protect you until you don't need me lines were lies if he could say them and then say we barely knew each other like he said to me yesterday. 

I had poured my feelings out to him yesterday and he didn't even bother to address it - he just greeted Jamie and invited her into his home. 

At 10PM. 

I don't know what they did or did not do that night, but a girl going over to a guy's house alone at 10PM is a flirty move.  And it's disrespectful since he's been flirting with me.

I won't take that.  

So he can stay with Jamie and stay behaving the way I always expected him to.  He's a player.

And I don't. play. games.

People were talking to me like they knew me now, like we'd been friends for years. They wanted to know every detail about my life – especially if it was scandalous. 

High school is so fake: Yesterday, no one cared I existed.

Truthfully, it felt good at first.  People were being nice to me.  That's a rare and pleasant feeling.  But then, I realized that they were digging for all the dirt on me.  Unfortunately for them, there's not much. I've lived a very boring life before this summer. 

It became overwhelming. There was not a single friendly face in the crowd. I couldn't concentrate with all the whispers. Everyone was staring at me; I felt like I had a giant zit on my face.

This wasn't how I wanted things to go down. I liked my anonymity.

I think.

"What does she have on him? It must be blackmail because there's no way he could naturally be attracted to her."

"There's nothing natural about Millie and Jake."

"Wasn't Luke in the hallway with her last week?  How does she know him?  It's insane."

Those were the sentences I overheard wherever I went.  It's like they waited to talk about me when I was present, just so I could hear the cruel words.  

I needed somewhere to breathe. I wanted space. The combo of losing my trust in Luke, Jake asking me on a date and the school ablaze with my name was too much.  I needed time to heal/process/get used to this.

At lunch time, I panicked. The gossip, the stares, the cruelty. It was too much. All this attention was like a shock to my system. I ran out into the car park and rushed to my car. If I can just get away, everyone can calm down. I started the engine and looked up.

Luke Dawson was standing in front of my car. 

Somehow, he knew I'd be making a run for it.

"We need to talk."

I shook my head. The last time I saw him was at his house, when I threatened to run him over.  I was in a really good position to follow through with that now.

"Get out of the car, Millie," he said, pulling the door open.

I slammed it shut again. I stared up at him through the glass window. He made a sign for me to open, but I refused. I couldn't face him. 

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