Darkest Desire

26. Newfound Trust (EDITED)

She hadn't thought about how her words would sound to others, but now that she'd said them, Aurora realized she probably wouldn't have been able to shock Severus more than by saying those two simple words.

I'm dying.

Dying.

Dead.

The true implications of that statement were not lost on her. It had a profound impact on Aurora, knowing that she might actually die. It wasn't as if she could help it, that morbid fascination she found in knowledge that her life might end. She could die. Disappear. Vanish. Cease to exist.

And yet, it didn't scare her like she thought it would. For some reason, she had always thought she'd be terrified when the time came. Scared witless the moment in which her life would end. Paralyzed by fear, frightened by the finality of life.... and yet she wasn't. Perhaps it was to be expected, given the life she'd lived. She felt strangely calm, knowing that the odds of her surviving were lessened with each moment passing, with each wrong guess as to what poison had been used on her. Instead of the overwhelming fear, all Aurora felt was a strange sense of peace settling over her.

They said that a man who lived fully would not be afraid of death. But had she? Lived fully? Perhaps not. It was a disconcerting thought. And yet, as she had not lived fully, she wasn't afraid of death. In fact, she found it intriguing. Maybe it was her upbringing, but Aurora had always been curious, and she wondered. Where would she go? Would she be a ghost, or would she sleep forever? Would she go to heaven or hell, if those places even existed? Valhalla? Reincarnation? What awaited her on the other side of the veil that separated life from death? Or would she simply become one with the stars? The possibilities seemed endless. She didn't know what she would face when she met death, and this should probably scare her. And yet it didn't, because it was a mystery, and Aurora loved a good mystery. Many people would look at her like she'd gone crazy if she tried to explain it like that, and by Merlin, perhaps she was!

Death is a painful truth, that is what some said. And perhaps that was the most accurate description for it. Aurora had always thought of death as a foggy road, shrouded in mystery, veiled in shadows. One must get through that fog called life to see the clearing beyond. Another path to walk, another road to take, and who is to say it would be our last? After all, life may be the beginning, but who was to say that death was the last path we would ever take? What if death is the middle of the story, and you have to read through it in order to get to the next place, one beyond death? For that matter, was there even a place beyond death? And if people went onto the next path after death, who was to say it was the last? Perhaps we are fated to keep walking, forever...Aurora found herself lost in those thoughts, her mind still hazy and her head trying to come to terms with what she'd been so willing to readily accept within her heart. When she looked up, she found Albus was looking at her with a strange knowing look in his eyes. As if he was thinking about something and a realization suddenly came to him. And she was willing to bet quite a lot that it had something to do with her.

"Aurora, you can't just give up" he stated firmly.

"I'm not" she replied softly, but to whose benefit, she couldn't say.

"Yes, you are. I can see it, Aurora dear. It's in the look in your eyes, in the way you poise your body. Surrender. That's what I see. I know you, and you know it's true" Albus said with a worried edge to his voice.

"No. Not surrender" Aurora countered calmly "Resignation. There's a difference"

"Yes. Cowardice!" Barked Severus from beside her, causing Aurora's eyes to snap up and meet his.