Bittersweet // Jensoo

Epilogue

Love,

Let's breakup.

I never thought I would say this three words but let's breakup.

If you want to tear this letter now, please don't. If you want to cry now, please don't. Please finish this letter.

We started because of a joke, but it wasn't actually a joke. You caught me eye the very first time I saw you. Remember? It was PE Class. I was just messing with my friends then I saw you. And I was like 'wow she's so beautiful'.

So I tried to get your attention, I talked louder and fooled around but you didn't notice me. So I took a bold move. I asked my friends to dare me. And you know the rest of the story. You have no idea how nervous I was when I asked you out. I wasn't afraid that it'd be embarrassing, I was just afraid that you wouldn't give me a chance.

But you did.

Remember the foods I prepared for you? I've never cooked before. I stayed up late almost every night to learn how to cook. Sounds stupid huh? I would wake up earlier in the morning to cook too because I'm scared I would fail to cook foods that you like. Every time you eat my food, my heart would actually be very nervous, I'm afraid you don't like it.

But you did.

Remember that time I fell down after our first date? It wasn't actually that pain, but I wanted to see if you would care so I exaggerate a little. You have no idea how happy I was when I saw the worry in your eyes. I regretted a little seeing you a little mad at yourself but I enjoyed the feeling. I asked if you could move in with me, I wasn't sure but you said yes. I even expected you to just be kidding, I couldn't believe someone would willingly move in to another person's house who they didn't even know for a week to take care of her.

But you did.

Remember the talent show? You have no idea how jealous I was that time. I was so angry when I see you with another guy but I didn't know why. But one day, it occur me, I realised I had fallen deep for you. I panicked, I was lost, I never thought you could make me fall in love with you.

But you did.

Remember the fights we had? Especially the one time after we fought at the toilet then I got drunk. I slapped you. I hoped that I could turned time back that second my hand hit your face, but I couldn't. My heart hurt when I saw the disbelief in your face, even more than when I saw you defend the other guy. I thought we were over, I thought you would never come back.

But you did.

Love you changed my life. You brought me colours and lights. Time spent with you was the best time in my life. But I said let's break up. Let's break up love, break up with the Jennie now. Break up with the timid and useless Jennie who couldn't even defend our love. She doesn't deserves you.

I'll leave you for now but it's just temporarily. But love, I promise you, I'll be back. I'll make myself stronger and I'll be back. I'll make myself better and be back. When I come back, nothing's going to stop us from being together anymore. I cross my heart.

I returned all your stuffs, because it hurts to much to see it. It remembers me of you everyday. But that doesn't means I forgot about you. You will forever be kept in my heart. Forever. You'll be my energy to live everyday. I'll never stop thinking about you for even a day.

Love, please remember me. Please keep me in your heart. A space in your heart is like a heaven for me. I've never said I love you to anyone in this world, and I mean never, only you. Love, I love you. I love you from the bottom of my heart, I love you to the moon and back, love, I really do love you.

Love with you had been bittersweet, but I loved it, because it's with you.

Love,
Jennie.