Not The Beta's Mate | ✔

Chapter Thirty One - Love Me

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Thank you for teaching me how to love.

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KAYLEIGH ELLIOTT

TWO WEEKS HAD passed and I still wasn't okay. Distancing myself from Kayden wasn't making me feel better, it was making my heart break more and more.

I barely moved from my bed, I just sat in and watched Netflix, napped and cried occasionally. My mom still tried with me and I felt guilty for shouting at her and not letting her in. Maybe I should just talk to her, suffering in silence is never the way forward. I should know that from what happened before with Josh.

Pulling myself from my bed, I manage to take myself downstairs. A weird spark of motivation ignited in my body. When my mom sees me standing in the kitchen she almost jumps. "Kayleigh," she greets quietly.

I don't even attempt to force a smile. Without saying any more, she steps closer to me and wraps her arms around me. I find myself hugging her back and burying my head into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry mom," I mumble. "I'm sorry for shouting at you."

My mom begins to run my back slowly. "It's okay hunny, I'm here."

She pulls back and looks at me. "Do you want to talk?" She questions. "I'm all ears."

I nod slowly and pull my sleeves over my knuckles. Following my mom to the living room we sit down on the couch, I wrap my arms over my knees and hug them close to my chest.

"What's going on Kayleigh-Baby?" My mom frowns at me as she rests her hand on top of my knee. "Hmmm?"

My bottom lip begins to wobble. "I think I need help," I say.

She furrows her eyebrows at me. "Help?"

Nodding, I begin to sniffle. "I-I need to see someone, I need to talk about things. My mind right now is a mess and my anxiety is just—" I purse my lips not being able to finish my sentence.

"If you need support, we can get you support." My mom shoots closer to me and smiles. "What's happened? Help me understand."

I let out a breath as I puff out my cheeks and try to ignore the stinging feeling in my eyes. I tell my mom everything. She already knew about how Josh treated me when we were together and when I was in the hospital. But she has no idea what has happened to me over the last three months.

I tell her about meeting Kayden, I tell her about Josh trying to touch me, I tell her about how I had been forcing myself to work too much. My mom hugs me, she hugs me so tightly I almost forget that everything in my life was a mess.

"Why do I hate myself mom?" I cry into her. "Why do I just push people away who care about me?"

My mom holds my face in her hands and pushes away damp strands of hair that clung to my cheeks. "Sometimes we do stupid stuff because we believe we don't deserve the good things in our life."

Her blue eyes hold mine intensely. "But what if I don't deserve him?" I sniffle.

"He loves you, yes?"