My Ruin

32. Hurting You

Ashanti's POV

I saw the photo of us in a dozen magazines.
There were paparazzi's wherever I went; I couldn't avoid them.

I think back to the last time this happened and the images of Lamonte with that woman spread out on his desk came rushing back.

It felt like somebody was punching my chest.

I had went to go see him in his office and then he was with that Rachel or Raquel or whoever that bitch's name was.

It broke my heart into a million pieces.

It didn't matter now anyway I was with Trey. What happened in the clinic wasn't a big deal. It was just a minor slip because of all these hormones I was experiencing.

I kept denying it, but deep down I knew that there was no way I could move past Lamonte. It's been months since we broke up, but I never stopped thinking about him.

I can't keep stringing Trey along. He's an amazing guy and I can't keep hurting him like this.

How many guys would stick around after finding out the girl you're trying to be with is pregnant with another man's baby?

We haven't even been together that long.

We haven't had sex, we haven't lived together, we've barely even kissed each other and this man was willing to do anything for me.

He has been there for me in every way possible for the last month.

He cooked for me, he gave me massages, he held my hair back when I was throwing up, going to doctor's appointments with me, and he even became one of the only people who could cheer me up.

Ana and Santiago have their own lives and I don't blame them for that.

But it really shows how much Trey has stepped up.

He's been there for everything.

I kept imagining what if it was his baby.
It was a bad thing to think about but it's the truth.

I hated everything about this situation. It's going to ruin his life and he deserves someone better than me.

People might say I'm an idiot, but my heart wants what it wants.

My mind gets it, but my stupid heart won't let me move past him.

I wish I could love Trey instead of Lamonte.
I care about him, I just don't care about him enough.

I knocked on his door and waited.

He answered quickly and welcomed me with a huge smile on his face.

My heart immediately fell to my stomach.

"Hey, baby. You could've just used your key," he said with a laugh.

He takes a hold of my hand and kisses my cheek.

I try to force a smile, but he looks at me with a confused expression.

"What's wrong?," he asked.

"I—," I begin to speak but I'm interrupted by the fire alarm.

"Shit!," Trey curses.

He runs to the kitchen and I follow behind him turning off the fire alarm.

"I'm sorry about that. I was making you this old family recipe that I've been wanting you to try. Some of it got burnt but there's enough for the both of us," he says as he stirs the pot and turns off the stove.

I stare at his face and I begin to walk up to him.
He was the sweetest guy I've ever met in my life.

I came to break up with him, but I don't know if I want to anymore.