Bad Boy Benefits

(21)

Song Above: Lay By Me

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Slowly and reluctantly, I uncover my face. I blink, close my eyes, and blink again. Streaks of sunlight penetrate the window and blind me. I sit up and yawn dragging my feet off the bed, and rubbing my knuckles into my eyes.

I had only just fallen asleep under an hour ago since I had stayed up all night crying. I don't even remember getting into bed and I have a sneaky suspicion I had help.

I grit my teeth as I remembered yesterday's events. I was clearly just looking to argue with anyone that came close to me.

I dragged myself to a mirror and winced at the sight. Streaks of mascara were across my face and my pale complexion made me resemble Marilynn Manson. My hair was in a tangled heap on the top of my head and my lips were cracked.

I let out a sign. I could count on my hand the number of times I've allowed myself to get like this. It was a very rare occurrence for me to break down. I think seeing all those memories on the floor of my dad brought back one big memory. One I had desperately tried to push deep in the wretches of my brain.

"Ivy?" My dad called as I rushed past the door to the kitchen. I let out a sigh, turning on my heel and walking back into the kitchen.

He was sat at the breakfast table, his hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee. A shadow was covering his chin from where he hadn't shaved in a while. His hair fell into a messy heap on the top of his head and dark patches clung to his eyes.

"What's up dad?" I asked impatiently shifting the straps on my shoulders from my rucksack.

It was the first day of my freshman year. Summer had felt longer than usual since I hardly did anything and I was excited to see Rose. I hadn't seen her for a while because she had gone to England to visit relatives over the summer. I was so excited to start high school I didn't even pay attention to anything but that.

"I was thinking maybe you could skip school today and we could have a day together? Maybe get some snacks and watch some movies in our Pj's," He smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Can we not go that another day? It's my first day and I haven't seen my friends," I groaned and ignored the sight of his smile dropping.

"Yeah of course, we can rearrange," He mumbled holding his coffee cup tighter.

"Okay great" I beamed "I'll see you later dad,"

"See you later,"

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, my hair brushing his skin and I heard him take a harsh breath. If only I knew he was soaking in my scent for the last time. I turned on my heels and left him to his coffee.

I didn't think twice about the fact this would have been the last time I saw him. The thought had never entered my head.

I didn't get the call until halfway through the day. The neighbors had seen water pouring out of the front door onto the lawn and had called my mom. Since she couldn't get hold of my dad she went back home to find him laying in the bath unmoving and unresponsive. His clothes were folded in a heap on the floor and the mug of coffee downstairs was still on the side untouched.