Gone

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Everyday is not a me day without making myself sad.

I was just going around Jace's random chapters when I caught sight of his new profile picture so I decided to see it up close. Scribbly unique style that symbolises an insecurity, I assume. It could have ended at that but nononoooo.
His follower count caught me eye because he used to be close to having 600 followers and I wanted to see how many people still follow him not knowing that Jace doesn't follow back lmao.
Then it changed to who he was following and I what I saw went downhill from there lol.

I saw Peter, Emily, Cedric and Sami's empty accounts.

Okay I'm trying to convey what I feel but I'm failing so please bear with me.

These people. These four iconic people are gone. They used to be part of our iconic squad at one point back in the day and those days felt so fast and jubilant without ourselves knowing that one of us would be gone in time.

It's sad to think because I remember reading their comments on each other's books and spam and they all said so many nice things. I miss these people so much and I wish for them to come back. Any day. One comment from any of them will make my day because it tells me that they're okay. They're fine and they're breathing and it's all what matters. Whenever any squad member doesn't become active for some time I automatically assume something has gone wrong because they usually would comment and post every day. Being on Wattpad all this time got me to emotional connect with everyone and see them as family. I care too much for everyone here even if I don't seem like it. I enjoy everyone's rants, attempts to fit in to society, memes, spam and everything gloomy because we're all unstable in different ways. We joke about it a lot but we accept each other.
I remember Sami, Emily and Peter commenting on my previous random book called 'Les Absurbités' with a cover of Totoro on it, however I was cleaning up my workspace since I had too many drafts... and I deleted the book without knowing they're gone so their comments went with it. We could see what was their last activity, however there's no use since the activity feed is gone.

As a tribute to these four people, I decided to write about my experience with them.

~____~

axo-freakin-lotl
I didn't know Cedric. and she doesn't know i exist.
She left the squad around October 2017 due to personal reasons before I came in February the following year.

I can still read her bio and what is on her message board and from what I can tell, she was a bubbly down-to-earth girl who had a passion for brightening other people's days. She is very hopeful and it must have been heartbreaking when she announced she was going.
Heck even Jack put something on her message board.

I wish I could talk to her and know her more. But she's gone and I don't think she will come back. I wish her nothing but the best and that she is out there living happily. Hopefully Jace still talks to Cedric.


TwelfthTopas aka AddeoraheartIDEK (that's proabably spelt wrong)
Another person whom I didn't know much of and I feel guilty for not approaching her sooner. Which takes a toll as to why I don't remember a lot about her...

Emily was one of the original founders of the squad along with Oliver and Jace. She was witty and artistic and aesthetic and had a book called 'Bad Bad' which was about two angels with opposite attitudes living together. She also knew French which was a tad helpful to the squad because someone posted a chapter on their random book that had something I wasn't in a favour of, I became extra and smashed my keyboard angrily in French and luckily Emily was there to translate what I spat out to everyone.

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