Restless Waves

Chapter 39

Rowan backed away. He backed away from the familiar face in the fish tank. He kept moving until his back touched the velvet curtain and Rowan reversed out until he reached the couch where Kaerius slept. Rowan sat down. His hands were shaking.

Rowan's normal life felt like a dream, a distant memory, a goal that had crumpled in his hands like ash. He turned to stare at Kaerius. Rowan's lower back touched his hip, and even such small and insignificant touching was calming his mind.

"I wish I could wake you up," Rowan mumbled. He just wanted to talk to someone. Instead, Rowan squeezed himself on what little couch was left, pressing his body against the Thalassic Mortal. Rowan was exhausted, but his mind span around and around and around.

Rowan didn't want to wake his dad or Kaerius. He had to tell his mind to forget about it all and think about it in the morning. It wasn't easy to switch off. Rowan knew he would fall asleep eventually. He let Kaerius's head rest on his shoulder and his black hair pressed against his face. He smelt of the ocean, and Rowan's breathing started to settle.

He thought of the ocean on a calm summer's morning. The empty beach, the tired seagulls, the cold water, the cool sand. Rowan imagined himself sitting on the rocks with his feet dipped into the sea. He stared at the pink sunrise, feeling so small compared to the ocean. Rowan closed his eyes and listened to the sound of small waves breaking on the shore. Salt was heavy in the air. The sun was getting warm on his skin.

* * * * *

Rowan didn't remember falling asleep, but when he woke up, daylight streamed down the stairs from the kitchen. He felt stiff and sore from sleeping on the couch. He felt it more in his neck when he sat up and stretched.

For just a moment, his mind was empty until he saw the curtains hiding a big secret. The silver Thalassic Mortal tail brightened up his mind. Rowan filled with dread. He would have to confront his father about-

Rowan looked away from the curtain. "Kaerius?" he said out loud. Kaerius wasn't on the couch. Rowan rushed to the stairs. "Kaerius?" he shouted, listening out for the sound of feet padding against the tiles. When nobody came to the top of the stairs, Rowan looked around the basement.

The curtains had a gap in them, and blue light streamed through. The hairs on Rowan's neck raised and he shivered. Kaerius would have needed saltwater at some point in the night. Rowan hoped he would have woken him, and not gone looking for it on his own.

Rowan edged towards the curtains. He hoped that Kaerius had gone upstairs to find a bath, but the closer he got, the more he could feel him. His insides churned with excitement when Kaerius was close. When Rowan touched the curtain, he felt the warmth of Kaerius soul. The feeling was now familiar to Rowan, but he didn't want to feel it when he was so close to the fish tank.

Rowan didn't want to look again. Seeing his father with a tail was crazy enough to be confused with a dream. It was real, everything, and Rowan had to accept it. He had to.

"Kaerius?" he whispered and pushed his body through the curtain. The shimmer of turquoise was the first thing Rowan saw. Kaerius had found the fish tank and wrapped himself up in the kept plants. Rowan wondered if Kaerius looked like that in the ocean where he should be sleeping, not in a small tank shared with another Thalassic Mortal whom Rowan called a father. "I'm sorry for making you live this way," Rowan said quietly. Even through it all, Rowan could still live on land, his home. Kaerius had to adapt. It wasn't fair.

Nothing in life was fair. At least, Rowan had never witnessed it himself, or for anyone around him. Everything had a price, even kindness.

Rowan lifted a hand and tapped on the glass. He kept an eye on the right side of the tank. It was big enough and thick with plants that he couldn't see his dad. Rowan knocked on the glass again, and Kaerius opened his eyes. The purple colour against the blue light looked indigo, like Rowan's mother's eyes. They reminded Rowan of the angry deep ocean, but Kaerius made the colour calm and soothing.