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Is It Worth It?

His head hurt. Yoongi kept trying to get through, but he blocked the connection, though it felt like trying to hold a door closed while a thousand alphas battered at the other side. The suppressants helped a little, but he knew somehow that they were just making the pain worse.

Jimin leaned against the kitchen counter, eyebrows furrowed, listing the formulas he would need for the next test in his head to distract himself from the pain. The kitchen sat emptier than ever, despite his not changing a thing.

It hurt, wanting Yoongi there.

He knew now; Yoongi wasn't the right one for him. It didn't matter what his body or mother nature said. His mate thought it was okay for seniors to give their mates crippling headaches just to know whether they existed or not. His mate still battered at the edge of his mind, begging to be let in. His mate... his mate didn't really care how he felt.

Jimin knew it was stupid; that he was being just as selfish, that he should let Yoongi in so the alpha could explain himself. But it was hard to rid his mind of Yoongi's excuses, Yoongi's backward reasoning, Yoongi's attempts to make him accept his side. He slid to the floor, burying his head in his arms, and wept openly, yanking at his hair.

"Why?" he sobbed, not quite sure whom he was talking to. "Why?!"

Why couldn't he have someone sensitive? Someone who understood where he was coming from, and respected his decisions? Didn't he deserve anything, after going through that hell of a childhood? Or was this mother nature's idea of punishing him for avoiding Yoongi for so long?

His head hurt.

"I wanted you," he said bitterly. "Why did I have to want you?"

But the silent kitchen held no answers.

***

Jimin sat alone again, hidden away in the corner. He could see Yoongi's table clearly, despite the distance between them, so he kept his eyes down, on the book in his hands. Something about dealing with traumatized mates. He didn't know why he bothered reading. It wasn't as if he could have Yoongi, was it? He was disgusting. Conceived by rape, kept alive by abuse, desperate enough to avoid his mate for almost four years... It was a wonder Yoongi hadn't hunted him down to reject him yet. He closed the book and stared at the cover, a photo of two happy young women hugging each other. One easily dwarfed the other, her smile (and kind eyes) directed downward at the smaller.

Tears filled Jimin's eyes.

It wasn't fair. He'd done everything his mother had told him, everything she'd said would keep him safe. He ran, and ran, and ran, and for what? Everything turned out to be useless in the end. Not only had his mate found him, but his mate was also exactly as she'd warned him, and he'd made the mistake of wishing he could have him anyway.

His head hurt.

He got up, slowly, eyeing a few omegas on the other side of the room who stood at the same time. They walked toward the door as one, and as Jimin reached the doors he heard someone running toward him, leveling with him as he pressed the door open.

"Hyung!" 

Hint: Silent Kitchens never hold answers.