+Bad Catholics+ Frank Iero

+4+

I stared at my ceiling the next morning as I laid in bed that Saturday morning. The sun was barely up, the wind brushing against the pane of my windows every few minutes. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get myself to fall back asleep, so I simply gave up.

Regret began setting the longer I remained still, along with a heavy bout of confusion to go along with it. Someone was in my house, asking questions. He was around my things, and saw Beth. He knew one more thing than the everyone else knew, and that felt dangerous. I felt at risk from the moment he walked through the door, and I hadn't felt comfortable since. Worse even, he knew where I lived- and that I lived on a bad street in a decrepit house. There was no more white-picket pretending to him- and possibly all the rest, if he told anyone.

Among those thoughts wreaking havoc on my mind, there was also that lingering question- why?

Why at the beginning of our final year in school together was he doing this? Why did he suddenly care about what I did with my spare time, or what I've done in the past? I couldn't wrap my head around it all. And more importantly, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I had said yes. I hardly knew him, and for all I knew he could just be trying to embarrass or humiliate me. Now that I was alone to sit with what had happened, I couldn't think of a better answer other than I was trying to get him to leave.

The small clock ticked to the timing of the words drilling my head, and I looked over to see what it read.

"It's not even six," I sighed, turning my head back up to the ceiling.

Maybe this was all just something to occupy him through the rest of the school week. If I just ignore it all and pretend like he wasn't serious, he'll probably just forget completely, I thought. Why do you even care? Just stick to the pla-

My train of thought was cut off by a swift clicking noise. I sat up within seconds, looking around anxiously. I couldn't tell where it had come from, my legs now dangling off the side of my bed.

Click

"What in the world..." I mumbled, that time hearing it from the direction of the window.

I slid off my bed and preciously tip-toed to the window, my hands trembling. Pulling the curtains fully open, I looked down.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me..."

Frank was down below at the side of the house, waving and motioning for me to open my window. Part of me wanted to just turn around and ignore him, but I knew that he would continue to throw rocks at the house if I did, and Beth couldn't know that he was there. I sighed and wrestled the window up, Frank smiling as I did so.

"Frank, what are you doing here? It's not even 6 in the morning," I hissed quietly.

"Nice jammies," Frank said. I cringed and looked down at my nightgown, nervously crossing my arms over my chest. "You ever see the sunrise from the city ridge?"

"No, why does that matter?"

"We're going to start with some of the easy stuff. Come on, we can knock sneaking out of your bedroom window off the list too."

Oh god, the list, I thought. He's actually serious.

"I really don't think now is a-" I tried to weasel my way out- albeit poorly- before Frank cut me off.

"Come on Mae, it's just a sunrise. It's not even illegal."

Frank flashed a big smile, teetering back and forth on his heels. He was like a pesky bug that I just couldn't quite get rid of, and it was then that the reality of my consequences for saying yes became clear.

I bit my lip and turned around, wrestling a pair of pants and a sweater from my dresser. Quickly I dressed in the corner furthest from the window and put my hair in a ponytail. I took a brief glance in the mirror, sighing and wondering if I looked quite as plain as I felt. Hearing Frank's taunting whispers outside, I popped on a pair of boots and hovered back over to the window.

I can't believe i'm doing this, I thought as I swung a leg over the windowsill.  It was the only way I could think to get him off my case.

Taking footing on the first latch of the gutter, Frank walked closer beginning to outstretch his arms to help me down. Climbing out of windows became muscle memory by then, and I was down the gutter and onto the trellis before he had a chance to ask me if I needed help. He stepped back as I stepped off and onto the ground in front of him, his eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

"Damn, you sure you've never done that before?'

No.

"Um. Yeah, never."

"Well look at all of the progress we're making! Come on, I bet you'll really like it."

  We made our way to the ridge overlooking the city- I actually hadn't realized how close it was to where I lived. Frank chattered most of the way there, while I hardly made a peep. Maybe it was a little pathetic that I was even nervous about something as harmless as a sunrise.

I slowly trudged up the steep hill, while he had no problem zooming all the way up. Frank stood there for a moment surveying the view before realizing I hadn't made it up yet, and turned around. My arms were spread out in fear of losing balance, carefully studying the ground below my feet.

"Come on, scaredy cat," I heard Frank say before feeling his hand grip mine, pulling me up the rest of the way.

"I was fine..." I muttered, still looking down.

Finally I looked up- you could see the entire city from where we stood, and the warm blankets of orange and pink swirling around it. It looked like a painting. The strangest part about it all was how purely quiet it was. There weren't any sirens filling the narrow alleyways, or the sounds of busy feet patting on the sidewalks. It was just silent.

The warmth of the fresh sun bled through the chilly morning air, battling the soft autumn breeze coming through. He was right- I did like it. I felt a little embarrassed that I lived so close all of my life and had never even seen it. Never had I had that feeling of missing out on something until seeing the morning sky touching the city.

"So?" Frank asked, sitting down in the grass.

I was rattled out of my trance and looked down, hesitantly sitting down too.

"It's nice." I said, looking straight ahead- half to look back at the scenery, and half to avoid eye contact.

"Nice, that's it!? This is the kind of shit you see in the movies, Mae. And the best part is it's here every morning. You've never thought to come here?"

I shrugged, unable to think of anything better to say.

"I know, I know. You're with me, but listen, you could be here with Father Ben instead. He would probably try and force you to use his giant stomach as a booster seat or something."

A strange giggle bubbled up in my throat without thought, and I immediately covered my mouth to hide it. The joke was so stupid, I couldn't even understand how it struck a chord. Frank gasped and angled more toward me, suddenly beaming.

"Was that a smile?" Frank asked, my lips pursing in an effort to hide it as I looked at him. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile."

"I'm not," I muttered a terrible lie, my hand still covering my mouth. I couldn't get the pesky thing to go away.

"Daisy Mae finally smiled, everyone! It's a miracle! Alert the presses!" Frank comically yelled over the hill. "I didn't even think to add that to the list!"

"Frank, stop calling me that," I silently chuckled, rolling my eyes.

As Frank stood and began yelling the news to all of the sleeping residents below us, I looked back over at the sunrise, feeling strange. All of it was right here under my nose, and I scared myself into thinking it wasn't something worth doing. Something so simple.

Maybe he wasn't so terrible, Frank. Or maybe he was, I didn't know yet. All I knew is that morning was the most color that my world has seen in many, many years.