𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗 ━━ 𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

twenty four | regrets

"Am I keeping you, O'Malley?"

George looks up from his cellphone, instantly hanging up whatever call he was about to make at the stern sound of our resident.

She clasps her hands together. "M&M in fifteen minutes, people."

"Woah, woah, woah. We get to go to an M&M?"

"Even if we haven't finished our rounds?"

"Even if." Bailey nods her head. "I want all of you at the M&M today."

Alex releases a joyful grunt, happy to take a break away from working with the restrictive OB/GYN, Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd.

"People die in this hospital. On our watch." The five of us back up into a corner. "Once a month, we gather to discuss how our actions as physicians contributed to the deaths. This is a very serious exercise."

Before she can yell at us for one reason or another, a family walks up to her. We crowd around into a circle and talk in hushed whispers.

"George, Alex, you get good seats."

"Cristina, Mer, and I are on snack duty."

"Sounds good."

"Focus, people." Cristina snaps her fingers. "Insults flying, residents covering their asses, and our bosses getting kicked in the teeth instead of us. . .this is going to be great." And she runs off to the cafeteria.

My tired eyes widen when Meredith pulls me in her direction. We gather a plethora of snacks and drinks before entering the auditorium space.

"Okay, people. Let's begin."

Chief Webber begins the slideshow presentation of patients.

"Patient #34986 died last month from complications following a heart transplant." He briefs the first case. "Dr. Burke will present."

"Oh, no."

"You guys. . ."

"Isn't patient #34986. . ."

"It's Denny."

"Eight million dollars could get us on a plane to somewhere far, far away."

The chief of surgery sits in a chair on the stage as Dr. Burke steps up to the podium, printed papers in his hand.

"Cause of death was an embolus that dislodged from the suture line and caused a C.V.A. with brain stem herniation."

A few hands from all across the audience shoot up into the air.

"So the company line is that he died from a C.V.A.?"

"There is no company line. That's how he died."

Another speaks. "Let's get back to this patient's need for an emergent transplant. You're saying the patient's left ventricle had been weakened by the L.V.A.D. malfunction?"

"His left ventricle was weakened by the fact that he suffered from congestive heart failure."

"Come on, Dr. Burke." The third attending states. "We all know the L.V.A.D. was cut by an intern."

Soon, Dr. Bailey takes the stand after a peaceful riot from the same doctor. The five of us cower from the invisible spotlight, realizing exactly why she'd invited us to the M&M.

One particular attending, Dr. Matthew Savoy, questions Bailey about her sleeping habits now that she has a baby to take care of and her lack of authority towards her interns — us.