Arranged Marriage | tk

Chapter 16: Courtesy

Sorry for the mistakes plz. Ignore
Boring.

Third Person POV

"It's been almost seven months mom and even though I don't want this to happen---that keeps happening and it's all my fault. I'm letting it happen and I don't want it to stop---it's so confusing---I don't want him yet I want him." Taehyung was talking to his mother, sitting on the ground next to her resting place, hugging his knees close to his chest.

He wonders why the sun always hides behind the clouds whenever he comes to meet his mother.

"I never wanted to allow him to touch me but I couldn't stay away from him, no matter how much I wanted to---I couldn't and in---in all my doings, I don't want to hurt him. He has hurt me---I know but I don't want to hurt him, me being a coward and getting scared because of some mere words has nothing to do with him---". Taehyung sighs, pouts.

"I am making him feel guilty when I myself allow him to touch him and then push him away. What would he think about me?" Taehyung smiles in a pity to himself.

"I don't want him to think bad about me---I don't want him to be ashamed of me. I just---I---". Taehyung groans because he's about to cry and he doesn't want to. Since when does he cry regarding to Jeongguk now. It was in high school when he used to cry---not after that so it frustrates him that he's about to cry now.

"I don't know what to do mom. Deep down, I know I shouldn't get close to him, it'll get complicated when the five months are over and it shouldn't get to that extent but I can't help it---it's getting difficult to stay away from him---". The model sighs, touches the grass softly.

"And he always touches me so softly and---and makes me feel secured, makes me want to stay in his arms till I fall asleep. I want to fall asleep while he holds me and yet I want him to stay away because---".

"Because I'm scared mom, I'm scared that something bad will happen, that I'm gonna hurt him and myself sometime in the coming months if---if I---".

Taehyung doesn't want to say that word. Feelings were never meant to get involved in them---okay lets not go to 'them'. Feelings were meant to get Taehyung under their spell and they haven't, they haven't yet and Taehyung knows they haven't but he's scared that he will catch feelings but he doesn't want to stay away from Jeongguk either.

"It's so confusing mom. Why would you want us together? Why did you write that letter mom? But I can't really blame you, can I?" Taehyung utters, scoffs.

"It's not your fault that he was my bully. It's not your fault that we both hate eachother---".

But do I hate him? Taehyung doesn't want to answer that, no matter how obvious it is.

"It's not your fault that I want him closer all the time." Taehyung mummers, rests his head on his knees.

"How can I keep hating him when he doesn't give me a reason to hate him anymore? He saved me twice, from police station and from Changmin." Taehyung smiles at the memory.

"He came to my fashion show even though I know how much work he has. He won me a pendant---he kissed me like he---". Taehyung stops, takes a deep breath and blinks away his tears.

"I don't want to stay away from him and I don't want to have feelings for him either because he will never have feelings for me---". Taehyung assures himself.

"The five months will pass and we'll probably never see eachother again and even if we'll do see eachother, it'll be different and it'll be---". Taehyung huffs, irritated at why he's thinking way too ahead from now.